It is difficult to live with this chaos. It is almost impossible – inhuman or superhuman – to live with this chaos and not to start dreaming about it, because one feels as if he is going mad. That’s where Nietzsche became mad – the same situation as Sartre is in. He became mad. He was the first of this new mind, the first pioneer man who tried an authentic no. He went mad. Too many people will go mad if they try no – because then there is no love, then there is no hope, then there is no meaning. Your existence is arbitrary, accidental. Inside emptiness, outside emptiness…no goal anywhere. Nothing to cling to, nowhere to go – no reason to be.
Seems difficult, almost impossible.
Sartre has earned it; he has lived it. He is a true man a true Adam. He has disobeyed. He has said no. He has been thrown out of the garden – the garden of hopes, the garden of dreams, the garden of your wish fulfillments. Naked, nude, into the cold world he has lived.
He is a beautiful man, but one step more is needed. A little more courage. He has not yet touched the rock bottom of nothingness.
Why has he not been able to touch the rock bottom of nothingness? Because he has made a philosophy out of nothingness. Now that philosophy itself gives him a meaning. He talks about sadness. Have you watched anybody talking about his sadness? His very talk helps the sadness to disappear. That’s why people talk about sadness, people talk about their miserable lives. They talk because just the talk, and they forget about it.
He has been talking, arguing, that nothing is meaningful, that the whole life is meaningless. Now this has become his meaning – to argue for it, to fight for it. That is where he has missed the point. A little deeper and the rock bottom is close by. He will be thrown back towards a deep yes.
Out of no, yes is born. If out of no, yes is not born, then something has gone wrong. It has to be so. Out of the night the morning is born. If the morning is not born then something has gone wrong. Maybe the morning is there but the man has made it a point not to open his eyes. He has become addicted to darkness, or the man has gone blind, or the man has lived in darkness so long that light dazzles him and blinds him.
One step more in this life or in another and Sartre will become a real man of Zen. He will be able to say yes. Out of no, but remember, out of an authentic no.
Have you watched sometimes the phenomenon of false pregnancy? A woman believes that she is pregnant, and just by the belief, just by the idea, she becomes autohypnotized that she is pregnant. She starts feeling her belly is growing – and the belly really starts growing. Maybe there is nothing but air. And every month the belly goes on getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Just her mind helping the belly to accumulate air, just the very idea. And there is nothing – no pregnancy, no child inside. This is false pregnancy; there is not going to be any birth.