It will be difficult. That’s why I say you have an investment in your blindness. lt is very loaded. It will be difficult, it will be painful to drop the pretensions. You will pass through a suffering. But one has to pass through it, it is part of growth; nobody can avoid it. If you avoid you are avoiding your growth. If you avoid, then do whatsoever you want to do – nothing real can come out of it.
You will have to pass through the suffering of disillusionment – remember this word. You can live in illusions, and you can create beautiful illusions also, but if they are false – they may be beautiful – they are not going to help. You can dream beautiful dreams, you can become an emperor in the dream, but you remain the beggar. Soon the morning is coming, and soon you will have to open your eyes: soon the sleep will have gone and dreams disappeared. And then you will come to know that you are a beggar. Beggars always dream that they have become emperors.
All your pretensions are dreams – to falsify, to deceive, to deceive the fact that is always there, to deceive the truth that is always around you. But how long will you do this? And what can you achieve out of it?
Pass through the suffering of disillusionment – that’s the only austerity I know of. You need not go and stand in the hot sun. You need not prepare a bed of thorns and lie down on it. You need not go for self-torture, you need not become a masochist, you need not torture your body. Those are all foolish things, stupid. The only austerity is to see things as they are, to see that your illusions are illusions. The only austerity is to be disillusioned, to drop all hopes. And in those hopes, the hope for God is included, the hope for moksha, liberation, is included. In those hopes, the hope that you will attain to the eternal is included. Your heaven, paradises, all are included – they are all illusions, extensions of the same ego.
Disillusionment is the gate – then you can be transformed.
Look at things in their reality, whatsoever the cost. If you feel that if you look at things as they are your ego will be shattered, let it be shattered – the sooner the better. If you feel that if you look at your being as it is you will feel like an animal, feel – that’s what you are. Your prestige in the society will be at stake, let it be – because the society consists of persons just like you: deluded. To be honored by them is not an honor at all. To be honored by sleepy men, dreamers, is not worth it.
It happened that Buddha was talking in a village. Many people had gathered – very few seekers, many more just curious people, inquisitive. A buddha had come: they had gathered to see him and to listen to him – not sincere. Buddha said something and they all clapped, and Buddha became very sad and he stopped. Ananda, Buddha’s disciple, asked, “Why have you stopped? and why have you become sad?”
Buddha said, “I must have said something wrong, otherwise how could these people have clapped? I must have said something wrong – because these wrong people cannot recognize the truth. Their clapping shows they have understood me. I must have been wrong; otherwise, how can they understand?”