Because of the urchins and other people harassing him and calling him “Either/Or,” he used to come out only once a month, just on the first day, to go to the post office. But now there was nothing left – next month he had nowhere to go.
He was writing books, but was not decisive about whether to publish them or not; he left all his books unpublished. They are of tremendous value. Each book has a great penetration into things. On each subject he has written about, he has gone to the very roots, to every minute detail…a genius, but a genius of the mind. With the mind, that is the problem – it is not your problem – and the better mind you have, the more will be the problem. Lesser minds don’t come across that problem so much. It is the genius mind that is opposed, with two polarities, and cannot choose. Then he feels in a limbo.
What I have been telling you is that it is the nature of the mind to be in a limbo. It is the nature of the mind to be in the middle of polar opposites. Unless you move away from the mind and become a witness to all the games of the mind, you will never be decisive. Even if you sometimes decide – in spite of the mind – you will repent, because the other half that you have not decided for is going to haunt you: perhaps that was right and what you have chosen is wrong. Now there is no way to know. Perhaps the choice that you had left aside was better. But even if you had chosen it, the situation would not have been different; then this which would have been left aside would haunt you.
Mind is basically the beginning of madness. If you are too much in it, it will drive you mad.
I have told you that in my village I used to live opposite a goldsmith. I became aware at first, and then the whole town became slowly aware…and his life became hell. I used to sit just in front of his house, and I became aware that he had a curious habit: he would lock his shop, then pull the lock two, three times to see whether it was really locked or not.
One day I was coming from the river and he had just locked his shop and was going home. I said, “But you have not checked!”
He said, “What?”
I said, “You have not checked the lock!”
He had checked it – I had seen him three times pulling it, but now I had created a suspicion, and mind is always ready….
So he said to me, “Perhaps I forgot – I must go back.” He went back, and checked the lock again. That became my joy: wherever he would go….
In the market he would be purchasing vegetables and I would reach there saying, “What are you doing here? You have left the lock unchecked!”
He would drop the vegetables and he would say, “I will be coming back; first I have to go and check the lock.”
Even from the railway station…he was purchasing a ticket to go somewhere, and I went and told him, “What are you doing? The lock!”