If you love somebody then you need not be self-conscious; and if you are self-conscious you cannot love, because the ego will become the barrier. If you are not self-conscious, only then is love possible. That’s why the more egoistic a person is, the less possibility is there of love. And when there is no love you are in a vicious circle: you think people don’t love you because you don’t appear beautiful, so you try to be more beautiful; you become more and more self-conscious. The more self-conscious you become the less possibility is there, and if you become absolutely self-conscious it is almost impossible – nobody can love you. You will simply put off anybody who comes near. You are a closed person; nobody can enter you.
An unself-conscious person is simply open. He doesn’t expect much but much happens. If you expect too much then nothing happens. This story is beautiful. Try to understand it.
When Yang Chu was passing through Sung he spent the night at an inn.
The innkeeper had two concubines – one beautiful and the other ugly. The ugly one he valued and the beautiful one he neglected.
This is a parable so don’t take it literally. In fact, everyone has two concubines. You may have one wife, but that is only on the surface. Everybody has two wives, one beautiful, one ugly, because every person has two aspects, one beautiful, one ugly. Even a beautiful person in certain moments is ugly, and just the reverse is also true; an ugly person is in certain moments beautiful, because ugliness and beauty are not parts of the form – they belong to the within.
Have you observed a beautiful person in certain moments when he or she becomes totally ugly? Have you seen a beautiful woman with lust in her eyes? – suddenly everything goes ugly, because lust is ugly. Have you seen an ugly woman with love in her eyes? – suddenly everything becomes beautiful. Love beautifies; lust makes you ugly, anger makes you ugly – compassion beautifies.
The more you think inside your mind, the more ugly and tense your face becomes. If you don’t think, if you live without much thinking, more meditatively, everything becomes beautiful. The faces of buddhas always become feminine. That’s why Hindus never depict their enlightened persons with beards and mustaches, no. Have you seen any pictures of Buddha or Mahavira or Krishna or Rama with a beard or a mustache? Not that beards never came to them, because that would have been a deformity; that would have meant that something was biologically wrong, physiologically wrong, some hormone was missing. No, they had beards and mustaches, but the Hindus have completely dropped them. They don’t depict them because they are depicting something of the inner. They are showing through the statues of buddhas that these men became completely feminine. Why feminine? – because grace is feminine, beauty is feminine.
The body loses all violent concerns; it becomes more round. Muscles are not needed for a buddha; muscles belong to wild animal-hood. The body becomes more and more round, shapely, more and more feminine. When aggression disappears, muscles also disappear, because they exist for a particular purpose: for aggression, for violence.