And those who are very deeply grounded in the intellect cannot leave it; it is their investment, their whole lifelong investment. So rather than coming to growth, to gratitude, they fall out – empty, angry, ungrateful, saying things which if they had even thought twice, they would not have said. And all that they are saying really goes against them, because what were you doing for ten years with this man? It took you ten years to find out that this is the wrong place? Then, even in ten lives you are not going to find the right place. You are simply retarded.
To have a soft heart, in a man or a woman, is of immense value in the growth of, the evolution of, your consciousness.
I recall a beautiful story of Hermann Hesse. A woman is pregnant and an old wise man tells her that she may have one wish granted in respect to her child. She wishes that her child be loved by all. This wish is fulfilled, and although the young boy is bad, he is loved by everyone. By the time he has become a young man, he has everything around him that he ever wants. But he is so unhappy that he wants to commit suicide. However, the old wise man reappears and indicates that he can have one wish.
The young man wishes to be able to love everyone rather than be loved by everyone. His wish is fulfilled. His beautiful face becomes old and ugly, and the whole town turns against him. He is stoned and can find no food or clothes. But he is overflowing with love, and every small thing in life becomes a love affair.
He decides to go on a pilgrimage, and one cold night he encounters the same old wise man, who receives him with tremendous love. The pilgrim relaxes into the old sage and becomes an innocent child again.
Osho, would you please comment?
Hermann Hesse is one of the Western minds who has come very close to the Eastern way of looking at things. Perhaps there is no other man of his quality who understands the East better. This story is an indication of his understanding of the Eastern wisdom about love.
The first wish the mother asks is that her child should be loved by all. Looking at the words you will not understand what is hidden behind them. He becomes a young man, he has everything, he is beautiful. Although he is not well-mannered, he is spoilt because everybody loves him unconditionally. But he is not satisfied. As he goes on becoming more mature, the situation comes to a point where he wants to commit suicide.
This is the whole history of all those who want to be loved. Why is he in so much despair? He should be happy. What more can you ask? – everybody loves you, in spite of you. But to the perceiving eye there is something: when you are loved by everybody you become an object of love. You lose your individuality, you lose your integrity, you lose your subjectivity. You become an object. Everybody loves you like a beautiful piece of art – and nobody wants to become an object.