But the woman does not lose any energy. On the contrary, her first orgasm gives her a deep incentive to have more orgasms, and she is capable of at least half a dozen orgasms in a single night. Because of this fact, man became so afraid that he prevented the woman from knowing the fact that anything like orgasm exists. So he is very quick in making love. The woman will take a little longer time because man’s sexuality is local, genital; woman’s sexuality is spread all over her body. If a man wants her to have an orgasm, he has to play with her whole body, the foreplay, so her whole body starts throbbing with energy.
But once she has had one orgasm, she is utterly dissatisfied because now she knows the taste, and she is capable, and she knows that now she can have deeper orgasms. And man is simply impotent after the first orgasm, at least for twenty-four hours. He cannot do anything else – he just turns over and goes to sleep. The poor boy is finished. And every woman weeps, cries because she has not even come, and her lover is finished.
To avoid the woman from having the knowledge of orgasm – for centuries the woman was not allowed even to know the beauty and the pleasure of orgasm – man also has had to prevent himself from having orgasm. All that he knows is ejaculation; ejaculation is not orgasm. Ejaculation is simply throwing out energy: one feels more relaxed, the tensions of the energy are gone, and one snores better.
The woman has become aware of orgasm only in this century and the whole credit goes to the movement of psychoanalysis. In the East, ninety-eight percent of women are still unaware that there is anything in making love, because she gets no juice, no experience. She in fact hates the whole affair. Ejaculation is not her need, it is man’s need; but both have remained deprived of sex and its ultimate orgasmic experiences.
But the trouble is, how to manage it? Anything looks very immoral. Either you have to invite all your friends, so that five, six friends make love, one by one, to the woman. Then she will be satisfied, but that looks very hurting to the ego. Or you have to provide her with an electric vibrator. But once she knows the electric vibrator, you are useless because the electric vibrator gives her such tremendous orgasmic experiences that you cannot give.
It seems there has been some mistake by nature itself: men and women are not equal in their orgasmic capacity. You are fully satisfied, but have you ever bothered whether your beloved has found even a single orgasm? Because she has not found a single orgasm, she can remain devoted to you: monogamous. But if she knows what orgasmic experience is, she will also want, once in a while, to be with another man.
If you really love your woman, you will help her to come out of her old conditionings which are far deeper, because man himself is responsible. Man himself does not have those conditionings; his morality is very superficial and a hypocrisy. But the woman’s morality has gone very deep. Man has been enforcing it from the very childhood. If you feel to change it, it is your responsibility; and particularly Kamal, a man of your understanding should be able to understand what I am saying.