His friend said, “I will give you the answer.” And that night, suddenly, the poor fellow woke up. Somebody had thrown a bag from the roof containing ninety-nine rupees – and that was the last day of his happiness. Because now he started to think, “How to save some money and make it at least a hundred?” He had never bothered…one rupee per day was enough to live as richly as possible. Now he had more than he could use for the day; he had to save. When it became one hundred, the desire jumped up, flared up – if he goes on collecting, soon he would have two hundred, three hundred, four hundred. And as more and more money started collecting, he became more and more miserable, continuously thinking of money. The song disappeared, the dance disappeared; the flute was heard no more.
One day when the rich man was being massaged, he asked him, “What has happened to you? You don’t look happy any more. Has some calamity happened?”
He said, “Yes, a calamity has happened. Somebody has thrown ninety-nine rupees into my house, and since that day I have not slept well, because the desire has become aroused to have more and more.”
Once you have the desire for more, life is misery. It may be knowledge, it may be money, it may be power; it may be anything that you start desiring, but you will become more and more sad. It is such a difficult world….
In one psychiatric hospital the prime minister of the country was visiting, and the superintendent of the hospital was explaining to him about every inmate. One man was just crying and crying and beating his head against the wall.
The prime minister asked, “What is the matter? What happened to this poor fellow?”
He said, “He used to love a woman but could not get married to her. His suffering is intense.”
And in the next room, another man was doing the same act – beating his head, tearing his hair. The prime minister said, “What happened to him?”
The superintendent laughed. He said, “Nothing happened. He married that same woman.”
Misery is bound to be there whether you marry the same woman or you don’t marry the same woman, or the same man; whether you go into this profession or into that profession. Everywhere you will find yourself miserable, because always there is more, and life is fleeting. Moment to moment, death is coming closer, and you have not achieved the goal.
Outside there is nothing but misery. We can try to have masks, we can try to smile when in fact we wanted to weep.
Friedrich Nietzsche has written exactly that sentence: “Don’t be befooled by my smiles; I smile only when I want to hide my tears. I don’t want to expose my wounds to anyone – it is so humiliating.”
And it becomes even more painful to see how close the door of your paradise is – you are carrying it. A Sufi story makes it clear:
Mulla Nasruddin was carrying the door of his house. Somebody asked, “What are you doing?”
He said, “I am going into another town for some work.”
They said, “You can go, but why are you carrying this door?”
He said, “You are absolutely unintelligent. If there is no door to my house, how can any thief enter? I always take my door with me.”