Saint Peter says, “There are so many planets that unless I get the index number of your earth, I cannot go to the library to find out where you come from. What do you mean by the Vatican, and who is this Jesus Christ?”
The pope shouts, “Are you kidding? Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God.”
Saint Peter said, “Do you think he finished after only one son, in the whole eternity he could produce only one son? I will go to the library, but without an index number it is very difficult to find out…which earth do you mean?”
The pope says, “I am coming from the solar system.”
He says, “That’s perfectly good, but there are millions of solar systems. Which solar system? What Index number?”
The pope says, “It is better you take me directly to God.”
Saint Peter said, “I myself have not seen him. I am just a doorkeeper, and God is too big. I have only heard about him. You will have to forgive me. But I will do my best to find the index number, find out about Jesus Christ and about this Vatican.”
He goes off and after hours he returns. And he says, “It is almost impossible. Millions of planets…there is no way to pinpoint where your earth is, where your solar system is. And anyway, what right do you have to enter into heaven? The easiest way is…on the other side of the road…there they don’t ask who you are, they are nice people. They don’t ask whether you deserve hell or not; the moment they see you, they grab you. You just try the other place.”
He was woken up by the very idea that he has to go to hell, and the devils will grab him – they don’t even ask who you are. And then he remembered all the tortures, the hellfire…and the most difficult thing about the Christian hell is that it has no exit. You can enter, but you cannot get out. Otherwise, just as a tourist one could enjoy. But once you get in, you become an eternal resident without any application to leave. He woke up out of fear; he was perspiring all over. He was not dead, he was dreaming.
I told this man, “The very idea is egoistic – that God should hear your prayer, should give proof by giving you a child. Just wait for a few more proofs, because one proof is not enough. No science will allow a single proof; it has to be repeatedly proved.
“You ask something else. You suffer from migraine, now start asking, ‘Take my migraine away; otherwise I will not believe in you.’ And you have a good strategy to blackmail God. He wants you to believe in Him, so exploit him as much as you can. Your brother is unemployed, ask for employment. Your father has cancer, ask for his cancer to be removed…you have so many problems. The child was not a problem at all. And are you certain the child is yours?”
He said, “I never thought that you will be so rude with me.”