You know your work; I know my work – and it’s far more difficult. It is not only drilling, it is drilling without anesthesia, not even a painkiller. It is not only drilling in the teeth, it is drilling into your very being. It hurts, really hurts. Forgive me, but never ask me to change my strategies…and in your letter you have not asked either. I am just saying it for the benefit of the others present.
Ashu, tomorrow I will wait for your letter. Let’s see what happens. Then Devageet will really giggle!
I am sitting here in the Noah’s ark weeping and wondering what to do.
When you are here, and I am empty of everything except your words and presence pouring through me; it is the greatest fulfillment I have known.
Then you hit – from nowhere! You tell me I am giggling…When, for example, this morning I suppressed a sneeze. Other days sighs escape my lips…. What to do? I sigh when you are close…Again you tell me I am giggling. When you accuse me of deceiving you by pretending not to write your notes, it is too much.
I love writing these notes beyond any other thing in my life. The writing of them is a pleasure, a gift beyond any possibility my mind may have conceived.
You have called me a fool – and that is obviously so – perhaps never more than now, but I am your fool through and through. I have never cheated you, betrayed you, never giggled or whispered to deceive you, and always give you the maximum…. And the pain from the hit is not from the blow but at the apparent injustice of it.
Beloved Osho, I am your fool and never more than at this moment.
I love you,
Beloved Osho, P.S. Thank you for destroying me, it seems to allow me to love you even more deeply.
P.P.S. Please, please keep up the good work…Forever.