So I told the young man, “If you ask about meaning, you are asking a wrong question and you will be led in a wrong way.” That’s how priests became so powerful: you asked wrong questions, they supplied wrong answers. I told him, “Just watch your own being. Do you need a woman to fulfill you? Does your whole being hanker for love – because love is a hunger, a thirst. When you see a beautiful woman passing by does something suddenly happen in you? – a wave, something invisible, a change? Or nothing happens? – you go on moving the same way as you were moving as if the woman had not passed by.”
If you move on a road and a beautiful woman passes and you go on moving the same way as you were moving before she came – nothing has happened, no wave in your being, not even a ripple – then there is no need for marriage. But don’t ask about the meaning. If something happens, you start walking a little faster or you start humming a tune, or you start looking at the beautiful woman, or you start avoiding her – if something happens this way or that… I am not concerned whether you start moving in the same direction the woman is going or you start running in the opposite direction; that is not relevant. If something happens then you have a need, and that need has to be fulfilled, because a need exists to be fulfilled. There may come some day when you will be on the road and a woman makes no difference. That too is good, but this too is good.
Everything is holy and sacred. There is a time to be in love and there is a time to move beyond it. There is a time to be related and enjoy the relationship, and there is a time to be alone and to enjoy the beauty of being alone. And everything is beautiful.
But one should look to the need, not to the meaning. “Meaning” is of the conscious mind, “need” is of the unconscious, and that’s how the second type of dream comes into existence: you go on cutting off your needs, then the mind fulfills them in dreams. You may not get married because you have read great books and you are poisoned by thinkers, and they have molded your mind in certain patterns and you are no longer open to existence itself; philosophies have blinded you. Then you will start cutting off your needs. Then those needs will bubble up, surface in the dream, because the unconscious knows no philosophies, the unconscious knows no meaning, no purpose. The unconscious knows only one thing: what is needed for your being to become fulfilled.
Then the unconscious forces its own dreaming. This is the second type of dream – very meaningful to understand it and meditate on it, because the unconscious is trying to communicate to you: “Don’t be a fool! You will suffer for it. And don’t starve your being. Don’t be suicidal, and don’t go on committing a slow suicide by killing your needs.”
Remember: desires are of the conscious mind, needs of the unconscious. And the distinction is very, very meaningful, very significant to be understood.
Desires are of the conscious mind. The unconscious knows no desires. The unconscious is not worried about desires. What is a desire? A desire comes out of your thinking, training, conditioning.