Nor is the mind interested in consciousness. In fact, the mind tries in every way to remain unconscious as much as possible. Down the ages, every society and every culture has condemned alcohol and other intoxicating drugs, but to no effect – they have survived and they go on growing more and more influential. The reason is: mind wants to drown itself in unconsciousness, which is its only relaxation. Otherwise there is always tension, because the unknowable is very close. The mind wants to forget all about the unknown, all about truth.
You will be surprised to know that science is not interested at all in discovering the truth. It is interested in discovering relative truths. Relative truths are simply relative lies! You can use the words as synonyms.
Just try…If you say to someone, “I love you relatively,” what will it mean? It will simply mean that you love many more people too. “Relatively,” you can say, “I love you too.” You hate many people relatively – you don’t hate just that person. With love, you are really saying, “I love you, relatively.” But no lover has ever made such a statement. Every lover says, “I love you totally, absolutely.”
Science is interested only in the objective world, where you can never come to the ultimate truth, because from the very beginning it is boycotting the subjective world. So its truth is going to remain always relative. The scientist is interested in objects, but he is not interested in himself.
To be interested in oneself means to be interested in truth, to be interested in consciousness, to be interested in bliss. But those are fearful, dangerous paths for the mind – any one of them…. And in fact they all three come together as three aspects of one experience. The moment you experience truth you also experience a tremendous explosion of consciousness and, at the same time, an immense overflowing of bliss from your own heart.
In this flood of light, mind finds itself incapable even of opening its eyes. It is a bird of darkness, just like the owl – in the day it closes its eyes, in the night its day begins – and the overflowing bliss becomes almost like a flood. It will take away all dead wood, which mind has collected as knowledge. And consciousness will dispel all the dark corners in which mind is hiding itself, repressing its desires, repressing its anger, greed, lust and a thousand and one other things which have been condemned by the society.
Mind’s greatest fear is not death. Its greatest fear is enlightenment. Death is nothing to be worried about, it cannot take away anything from the mind, but illumination is going to destroy the mind completely.
Your question is really mind trying to figure out what is happening to you. And what is happening to you is beyond the capacity of mind, which is why you are afraid, shaky, worried. I will read your question: “Sitting in front of you, I feel something tremendous is happening to me, which I don’t understand at all.”
Neither do I! Nor has anyone ever known what it is – no Gautam Buddha, no Jesus Christ, no Socrates; nobody has ever known what it is. But they have all drunk of it, felt its sweetness, its fragrance, its music. But everything is so vast, so tremendous, they cannot reduce it into words so that mind can figure out what it is.