Living here for years…Imagination is a very momentary phenomenon; you cannot go on living in imagination for twelve years, fifteen years. It is possible to live in imagination for a few moments – imagination is not reality; imagination is just like soap bubbles. For a moment they can shine in the sun, create a rainbow, and then they are gone and all those rainbows disappear.
And one thing more you have to understand, for yourself: you cannot imagine silence; that is not in the nature of things. You can imagine all kinds of thoughts, but you cannot imagine thoughtlessness. Nobody has ever been able to do it, it is almost impossible. You cannot imagine blissfulness. You don’t have any idea, how can you imagine it? Imagination needs some kind of experience; then you can project it. But blissfulness you don’t know.
You can imagine misery perfectly well. You are so deeply rooted in misery that there is no problem. You know it, you can imagine it, you can exaggerate it, you can magnify it a thousandfold; it is in your hands. But blissfulness you don’t know. Anything that you don’t know is not possible for you to imagine.
So if you are feeling silence, peace, bliss; if you are feeling changes happening in you, in your consciousness, it is not imagination.
Secondly, you are worried that it may be some kind of arrogance in disguise. One who is aware that his experiences may be some kind of arrogance, has really gone beyond arrogance, because arrogance never recognizes itself. The egoist never recognizes that he is egoistic; the arrogant cannot even think that he is arrogant.
To be worried that perhaps it may be arrogance is part of humbleness. Only a humble person becomes concerned that he should not say anything, he should not do anything that may bring arrogance from the back door. He knows the misery of arrogance, he knows the pain and the anguish of arrogance. He does not want to get into that trap again. But if you are aware, arrogance cannot come close to you, just as when you have light in your house, darkness cannot come in.
Gautam Buddha used to say, “You should be like a house which has light inside. When the house, its doors, its windows, are showing light, thieves don’t come close. But when the house is dark and there is no light, it is an opportunity for thieves.” And by thieves he means all that destroys your beauty, your grandeur, all that takes away your treasures. Arrogance, ego, aggressiveness, superiority, the idea of being special – all are destroying you and your peace; they are destroying your nobodiness.
You cannot imagine nobodiness. It is almost like…a beggar can dream of being a king – in fact beggars always dream, and in their dreams they fulfill the desires which they cannot fulfill in their actual waking lives. But nobody has ever heard of a king dreaming about himself being a beggar; that is unknown. Why should one dream of being a beggar? The hungry person can dream that he has been invited to a royal party; he can dream about delicious food – he has to, just to hide his hunger. But the man who is living in the palace and eating delicious food is not going to dream that he is hungry; that is just illogical, unpsychological.