You are in trouble between the two. You are tense. Neither are you unconscious, nor are you conscious – just hovering like a ghost. You are not anchored anywhere. Without any roots, without any home, how can the mind be at ease? It seeks, gropes – finds nothing. Then you get more and more worked up – more and more frustrated, more and more irritated. What is happening to you? You are in a rut. This will continue unless you learn something which can “un-mind” you, which can void the mind.
That is what meditation is all about. Meditation is a way of “un-minding” your being, of dropping the mind, of moving from the bridge, moving into the unknown, taking a jump into the mysterious. That’s why I say don’t calculate, because calculation is of the mind. That’s why I say the spiritual search is not step by step; the spiritual search is a sudden jump. It is courage, it is not calculation. It is not of the intellect, because intellect is part of the mind. It is more of the heart.
But the deeper you go, the more you will feel it is even beyond the heart. It is neither of thinking nor of feeling. It is deeper and total, more existential than both. Once you start working on how to attain to no-mind, only then, by and by, will peace settle on you. By and by a silence will descend and a music will be heard – the music of the unknown, the music of the unuttered. Then everything is in order again. It is the passage of the mind, and it has to be so because you drop the past, where you were settled and rooted, and you move into a new future where you will again be settled and rooted.
But in the middle is man. Man is not a being, man is a passage. Man is not something, man is only a journey, a rope stretched between nature and super-nature. That’s why he is tense. If you remain human, you will remain tense. Either you have to fall to the level of below human, or you have to raise yourself to the level of the beyond human.
Only humanity is in chaos. Look at nature: the crows caw, the sparrows twitter, and everything is perfect. There is no problem in nature. “Problem” comes into existence with the human mind, and “problem” dissolves when the human mind dissolves. So don’t try to solve the problem of life by the mind itself; it cannot be done. That is the most foolish thing one can do. Understand that mind is a bridge – watch it. It is not eternal, it is momentary.
It is just like when you change houses: the old house was settled, everything was in its place. Then you change the house, then the furniture, then the clothes, then the things that… Everything that was settled is unsettled, and you move into a new house. Everything is a chaos. You have to fix it again. When you are moving house, you have left the old house you have always lived in, and you have not yet reached the other house; you are just on the way in a lorry with all your luggage.
This is what mind is: it is not a house, it is just a passage to be passed. And once you understand this, something of the beyond has penetrated in you. Understanding is of the beyond; it is not of the mind. Knowledge is of the mind. Understanding is not of the mind. Watch why you are in a chaos and an understanding will start dawning upon you.