But we never attain celibacy even after a lifetime of sexual indulgence. One reaches a ripe old age, one comes to the end of one’s life, but one is never free from the lust for sex, from the passion for intercourse. Why? It is because we have not understood the art and the science of sex. No one has ever explained it to us nor have we ever thought about it, reflected upon it or discussed it. In our lives no experienced ones have engaged us in a dialogue over it, in a communion over it. We are in a worse situation than animals even.
You may be skeptical that an experience that is usually of a moment’s duration can last for three hours. I will give you certain keys. If you pay attention to them, the journey to celibacy will become easier.
The faster one’s breathing during intercourse, the shorter the duration of it; the calmer and more relaxed one’s breathing, the longer the duration of the intercourse. If you can discipline a totally relaxed breathing, the duration of intercourse can be prolonged to any extent. And the longer intercourse lasts, the more the experience of the elements of superconsciousness – the egolessness and timelessness I have talked about – begins to take place. The breathing should be very relaxed. As it relaxes, newer depths, meanings and realizations in sex will begin to be revealed.
Another thing to remember, if during the act of intercourse your awareness is focused between the eyes, where yoga says the third eye center is, the duration of lovemaking can be extended up to three hours. And one such experience of intercourse can root the person in celibacy – not only for this lifetime but for the next life also.
One sister writes to say that Vinoba is a “born celibate,” so does that mean he has not had the experience of samadhi, superconsciousness? She says about me, “You are unmarried, a born celibate. Does that mean that you have not had the experience of samadhi, superconsciousness, either?”
If that sister is present here I wish to tell her that neither Vinoba nor I, nor anybody else for that matter, can realize the stage of celibacy without the experience of sex. I also want to tell her that the experience may be from this lifetime or it may be from a past life. One’s attainment to celibacy from birth in this life is based on the experiences of deep coital union in previous lives and on nothing else. There is no other way. If one has had a profound experience of sex in a previous life, the person will be born free of sex in this life; sex will not disturb the person, even in his imagination. On the contrary, the person will be surprised at how other people behave about sex; the person will be amazed that people are so madly after sex. Such a person will even have to make a conscious effort to distinguish, to differentiate between a man and a woman.
If someone thinks one can simply become a born celibate without any deep experience of sex, that person is wrong; one will become insane, not celibate. Those who try to impose celibacy upon themselves only go insane, they reach nowhere. Celibacy cannot be imposed; celibacy evolves out of the experience of sex. It is the result of some profound experience – and the experience is of sex. If that experience can be had even once, the person is released from sex for the unending journey of lifetimes.