When I am saying something, don’t cling to its apparent meaning. Go into its existential sense. When I am saying don’t miss a master, I am saying relax with a master, be with a master. Forget yourself in the master. Let the master surround you. Let him become your atmosphere, your climate. Live in him, think of him. Be in constant remembrance of him. And forget all about yourself!
This concern for enlightenment is an ego concern. You are still self-centered. To be with a master means to forget yourself. Ordinarily, we are self-centered. Whatsoever we do we are doing for ourselves. To be with a master means you start forgetting the old language of self-centeredness. You start doing things for the master – because he says so. Sometimes even absurd things!
Ajit has asked a question because people ask him, “Why do you wear orange?” And he says, “I try to explain to them, but I know deep down that they are not convinced.”
There is no way to convince anybody, and there is no need either. The problem is not with orange: the problem simply is that you cannot say, “ Now I am a disciple, and I don’t know. I have left everything to my master. If he says, ‘Wear orange,’ I will wear orange. If he says, ‘Walk naked in the streets,’ I will walk naked. I don’t know any reasons any more. You go and ask the master. I have dropped my self-centered style of life.”
That is the meaning of sannyas. That’s what initiation is all about: you drop your self-centered style of life. You have always lived according to yourself. The day you become joined with a master, you start living according to him.
And he is not obliged to explain everything – because there are many things which cannot be explained. And there are many things which can be explained only when explanation will not be of any use – when you have experienced something, they can be explained. But then there is no point.
And there are a few things a master goes on asking his disciples to do which are patently absurd. That is their very reason, that they are patently absurd. They help the disciple to move away from his self-centering. He simply becomes an obedience, he becomes a yes-sayer. In that yes-saying, the master is not missed.
It is not a question of stubbornness, because stubbornness will only emphasize your self-centeredness. It will become even more concentrated. It is a question of losing it.
You have lived according to yourself long; you have seen what it means to live according to yourself. To become a disciple means now you are fed up with it. You want to relax. You want to simply follow somebody. In trust, in love, in intimacy, you want to become a shadow. And the paradox is: the moment you forget your self-centering, your real center arises. The moment you become just a shadow to the master, for the first time you become an individual. This is the paradox. The moment you have forgotten yourself completely, you are enlightened.