People come to me…they come up with plans to change me too! They tell me that if I were to do such and such a thing it would be very good, that if I were to speak like this or like that it would very good, if I were to live in such and such a way it would produce very good results. I ask them, “Why did you come here? Did you come here to change yourself or to change me? I am happy just the way I am! For me there is no question of even making the smallest change. If you are unhappy, then worry about changing yourself. But if you too are happy, then the matter is closed.”
But even when an unhappy person comes here, he forgets why he has come here. For what purpose has he come? To change himself!
People come to this camp, and the whole day long they torture me saying that such and such a person is doing this, somebody else is behaving like that. But why have you come? Have you come here to worry about everyone else? Who asked you to worry about other people? It seems that you have plenty of time, that you have a lot of energy. You are devoting your life to finding out who is doing what. What is the point? Which man is talking to which woman, which man is sitting next to which woman – why should it bother you? Who are you?
You came here to transform yourself but you start worrying how to transform others! You did not actually come here to change yourself – that’s why you have become so concerned with others. Your idea that you came here to change yourself is false – you are just deceiving yourselves. You want to change the whole world, but you don’t want to change the way you are in even the smallest way! And you want all your suffering to come to an end and for all your pain to finish. Your suffering will not end if you remain just the way you are! And why does it hurt you that someone is sitting lovingly with a woman, talking to her? Why should this cause you pain?
Someone sent word to me that such and such a person is sitting with a woman in a way which is not decent. Now, who can be the judge of what is decent and what is not decent? And the man who is informing me about all this has no idea why all this is causing him anxiety. I know this person very well: he is incapable of sitting with any woman, and it is not possible for any woman to sit close to him either. So he is disturbed.
He wanted to be in that man’s place, that’s why he brought me this news of indecent behavior. But he has no idea that it is his own sickness that is eating him; instead he is worried about reforming the other person! I told this man, “Have you ever noticed that the man sitting next to this woman is always happy, is always laughing, joyous? And you are always sad, unhappy and worried. Try to learn something from this man, and stop worrying about the woman sitting next to him. Then if you also become happy, maybe a woman will want to sit next to you too! But right now there is hell written all over your face. You look so worried and unhappy – who would want to sit next to you? And if two people are sitting together lovingly, what is indecent about it?”