The first question:
The body is becoming more and more sensitive; it seems to vibrate at a faster rate. The more work on consciousness and awareness, the less conscious awareness is there.
Meditation seems to be taking a new form unrecognizable and incomparable to the previous meditation states or experiences. There is less time and space and tranquil conditions for passive, receptive meditation in the midst of noise and physical chaos, yet something is happening.
Immense trust in you is there in the face of this loss of rational understanding.
Please explain, if you will, what indeed is happening and how it is possible to go deeper and deeper in the midst of apparently chaotic conditions.
The first thing and one of the most basic to be remembered always is that only out of chaos one is reborn. There is no other way. If you want to be reborn, you will have to move in complete disorder because your old personality will have to be destructured. You will fall apart. All that you have believed yourself to be will start disappearing by and by. All that you have always identified yourself with will become dim, cloudy. The structure that the society has given to you, the character that the society has forced upon you, will fall into pieces. Again you will be standing without a character, as you were when you were born, on the first day.
Everything will be a chaos, and out of that chaos, out of that nothingness, you will be reborn.
That’s why I say again and again that religion is a great daring. It is a death, a great death, almost a suicide. Voluntarily you die, and not knowing what is going to happen…because how can you know what is going to happen? You will be dead, hence trust is needed.
So if by the side, continuously, side by side with the chaos, a trust is growing in me, then there is no need to be afraid. That trust will take care. If the trust is not growing by the side, side by side, then there can be danger, then one can become mad. So people who don’t have trust, in fact, should not move into meditation. If they move into meditation, they will start dying, and they will not find any ground to stand upon, any supportive environment.