It happened in Ramakrishna’s life: a very rich man from Calcutta came. He was a great devotee of Ramakrishna – at least he thought so. He had brought one thousand gold coins to present to him.
Ramakrishna said, “I will not reject you because I don’t want to hurt your feelings, so I accept your one thousand gold coins. Now they are mine; will you do me a favor?”
The man said, “I am ready.”
Ramakrishna said, “Take all these coins and throw them in the Ganges.”
The Ganges was flowing just behind the temple where Ramakrishna used to live. The man was very much shocked. His gold coins…and he had collected them with so much effort. He hesitated.
Ramakrishna said, “Your hesitation says that you have not given them to me. These are my coins now; it is none of your business. You just throw them in the Ganges. You have given them to me, what does it matter? They don’t belong to you whether I keep them or I give them to the Ganges.”
The logic was clear. The man went very slowly, and it took hours. Ramakrishna waited and waited. And he asked one of his disciples, “Go and see what happened to that man. Has he committed suicide? Has he jumped with the coins into the Ganges? – because this is too much time. It should have taken not more than two minutes.”
The man went there, and there was a great crowd. And that rich man was taking one coin after another. First he would throw it on the stone pavement to see whether it is absolutely twenty-four carat gold or not, and then he would throw it into the Ganges. Naturally it was taking a long time, and a great crowd had gathered – what is he doing? And he was enjoying.
The man reported to Ramakrishna, so he himself went and he told the man, “You seem to be very idiotic. When one collects money, naturally one has to collect it one coin by one coin. But when you are throwing them, why be retail? Why waste time? You could have thrown the whole bag, all one thousand coins, in one go. And why are you making this exhibition? What is the need of checking all the coins, whether they are pure gold or not? They are not yours! And when you are throwing them, whether they are pure gold or not does not matter. But I know what the reason is – parting with one thousand coins in one go is too much for you, so you are parting with one coin at a time – and that too, not without making an exhibition.”
Abhiyana, you say, “My very organs are disappearing one by one.” You must be reluctant. Somewhere deep down you must be clinging. The pillars of Chuang Tzu did not disappear one by one; the roof of the Chuang Tzu does not disappear part by part. It does not belong to you; but your organs are disappearing only by…slowly, slowly. Are you ready for surgery? Or is there a deep hold-back? That hold-back is creating your melancholy.