And commitment is always out of unconsciousness. For example, you love a woman and you want her to get married to you, but she wants a commitment. And you are so unconscious; you commit yourself so easily about the future, which is not in your hands. How can you say anything about tomorrow? Tomorrow is not your property. You may be here, you may not be here. And who knows about tomorrow? The love that has suddenly taken possession of you may disappear.
But almost every man commits himself to his woman, that “I will love you my whole life.” And the woman commits herself also, that “I will love you not only in this life, but I will pray to God that in each life I will always find you as my husband.”
But nobody is aware that not even a single moment of the future is in your hands. All commitments are going to create troubles. Tomorrow your love may disappear, just the way it has suddenly appeared. It was a happening, it was not your act, it was not your doing. Tomorrow, when the love disappears and you find your heart completely dry, what are you going to do?
The only way that is left by the society for you is to become a pretender, to be a hypocrite. What is no longer there, go on pretending, go on at least saying, “I love you.” You know that your words are meaningless and the woman knows that your words are meaningless, because your words don’t sound sincere. And you cannot deceive a woman as far as love is concerned; she has a tremendous sensibility. In fact, when there is love there is no need to repeat it. You know and she knows. The question of repeating it arises only when the heart is no longer radiating it, so you are substituting it with words.
But words are very poor. Your actions will show something, your face will show something, your eyes will show something, and your words will be trying to prove just the opposite. But the problem has arisen because you were not conscious enough to say to the woman, “How can I commit myself? I am a fragile human being, I am not absolutely conscious. Most of my being is deep in darkness, about which I don’t know. What desires will arise tomorrow, I am not aware of, nor are you aware of. So please don’t commit anything to me and I will not commit anything to you. We will love each other as long as love remains authentic and true, and the moment we feel that the time has come to pretend, we will not pretend – that is ugly, inhuman. We will simply accept that the love that used to be there is no longer there, and it is time for us to part.
“We will remember all those beautiful days and moments that we passed together. It will remain always a fresh memory. And I don’t want to destroy it by pretending; neither do I want you to become a hypocrite.”
As far as my people are concerned, never make any commitment. Make it clear that commitments are bound to lead to a difficult situation. Soon you will find that you cannot fulfill it.