You say you have been struggling – but remember, your struggle was an ego fighting. That’s where you failed. Your ego became strong, and remember, even the strongest ego is prone to compromise. It can fight if that fulfills it; it can compromise if that fulfills it. Why did you compromise? What can the world do to you? At the most they can kill you. The rebel from the very beginning decides, “I would prefer to accept death but I will not compromise.”
You were not fighting, struggling, to destroy your ego. You were fighting to strengthen it, to make it more powerful. And then a moment came when you were powerful enough – now struggle was useless, unnecessary trouble; you could compromise. Your struggle has been reactionary and political; that’s why you failed.
My struggle was totally different. I was continuously watching that my rebellion remained pure, that it was not polluted by reaction.
They look alike. When you don’t follow an order from your father, your mother, it can be either reaction or rebellion. They look very similar; they are as far apart from each other as two things can be, but the appearance is very similar. And it is very easy to believe that you are a rebel. All reactionaries believe that they are rebellious spirits. In fact, that too fulfills their ego – that they are not ordinary people, they are rebellious people.
Reaction means your ego does not want to be dominated by anyone; on the contrary, you would like to dominate everybody. Once it becomes strong through struggle, once you are certain that now nobody can destroy your ego, you start compromising. There is no need to fight, you can manage things now through compromise – a far easier way. Compromise – the very word is not in my vocabulary.
Compromise is ugly.
Rebellion is either/or, it never compromises.
How can truth compromise with lies? Either the truth has to prevail, or death. And when you have a small taste of truth, who cares about death? because that very small taste of truth makes you immortal. Deep down you know death is a fallacy: nobody dies, so what is the fear? At the most you can get a new body instead of the old. So far, so good. Getting rid of the old model and finding the fresh, new, latest model of the body – it is a beautiful experience.
But to see that death is a fallacy, it never really happens, you never die, nobody dies, nothing dies…. Yes it can change forms, but life is eternal. Compromise means you have become a strong ego. Now you do not need to struggle; now you can manage through compromise to get whatsoever you want. Once the ego is certain, then compromise is bound to happen.
I have never compromised on anything with anybody, for the simple reason that I have made it plain to everybody who has come into my life: if you are true, I am with you; it is not a compromise. I am totally with you, I don’t make any conditions. But if I am true, you have to remember that you will have to be with me without any conditions.
Neither I compromise with anybody, nor do I allow anybody else to compromise with me. I have never compromised and I have never allowed anybody to compromise with me. Compromise is not my game. This is possible only if you are not trying to strengthen your ego.