“Now I am leaving again, probably for a longer period, and I feel calm, peaceful, somehow detached – even if more and more weak, confused, without any answer.” He has been able to understand his situation very correctly. Calm, serene, tranquil he is growing. But the more calm you become, the more you feel that all your strength was just your belief, that all your declarations were just bogus. They were efforts to hide behind, they were like masks.
So those masks are falling down and you will feel weak, confused, without an answer. Live through it. Don’t start falling back. Go through it. It will be hard, it will be arduous, but if you can go through it, soon the morning is coming closer. The dark night is going to end. But remember, before the morning comes, the night becomes very dark.
Now, that is exactly the case with Nagarjuna. The night will become very dark, but don’t be afraid. That is simply indicative that the morning is not very far. And still he is feeling he is more calm, more tranquil.
Always remember that whenever you are feeling more calm, you are on the right track. Whatsoever else is happening, don’t be bothered. Feeling calm, quiet, silent, is enough indication that you are coming closer and closer to the garden of godliness. The very calmness shows that you are coming closer to the cool garden. Shady trees are just waiting for you. The breeze has become cool, fragrant. You can feel it in the winds, you can feel it in the atmosphere. Calmness is the first indication of blissfulness. Silence, the first glimpse of the far away peak of bliss.
So whenever you feel silent, whatsoever else is there – confusion, weakness – don’t be worried; they will disappear. If calmness is not there and you are confused, then there is trouble. That means you are not growing, you are even regressing.
So this has to be remembered by all. Whosoever is working with me, whosoever is in the work with me, should remember – keep your eyes alert for calm, tranquility, silence. If that is happening, then don’t be worried whatsoever else is happening. Let it be. It will disappear on its own accord. Maybe before it disappears it will create the last bout, it may create the last trouble that it can create. It has been there for so long…for millennia. Now suddenly you are ousting it.
These diseases, these illnesses, have lived in the house so long that they have completely forgotten that they are guests. They think they are hosts. And you are going to turn them out. They are not going to leave you easily. They will create trouble. That is accepted, agreed. You just go on listening to the silence that is happening, the calmness that is arising in you, and you will be able to transcend them.
My hand is on your head, my blessings with you.