Because if you can relax and be passive – and it will be very easy for you – all confusion will disappear. Confusion arises only when you are doing something which is not in tune with your type. Once something is in tune with your type, all confusion disappears. Confusion is simply indicative, symptomatic, that you are doing something that doesn’t suit you. You may go on doing it and it does not suit you, you go on doing it and it does not suit you, and the mind will say that you are not doing hard enough and that is why there is confusion – and more and more confusion will come. Once something fits…it is just as when the shoe fits – suddenly you forget the shoe. Whenever a method fits, you simply forget about it and everything falls in line. Only the right key and the lock opens.
Try to remember what I am saying. Your type is the feminine type. You are not an aggressive being; you are very non-violent. Not very out-going, not intrusive in any way; you would like to be within yourself. But this work, whatsoever you have been doing, can be helpful; at least it can show you that this is not your type. Be here and try vipassana.
I’m just a visitor but I wanted to ask you one or two simple questions. The first one is, and maybe the other: What am I?
It is the most difficult question. If you really want the answer, be here. Just being a visitor won’t help. It is not a question that can be answered. You will have to grow into it…you will have to seek and search. I can help you to seek, but answers cannot be given. All answers will be childish. Nobody can tell you who you are. You have to find it out – that is the whole goal of life. It sounds simple but it is not – don’t be deceived by the sound.
Yes…. The other thing that I wanted to ask was that I have a feeling when I am reading books about spiritual development by yourself and other people, that I understand it all very well; intellectually it seems to be quite clear. It is obvious, that comparatively speaking I’m in a mess, I’m suffering, and I should be able to get out of it. I can also see something of the way in which one should do this, but perhaps the biggest obstacle is wanting this thing itself.
Mm, right. It is very obvious, and intellectually not a problem at all to understand. But the problem is that intellectual understanding is not the right understanding; it is just peripheral. It is good as far as it goes, but it doesn’t go far enough. So if you depend only on intellectual understanding you may become more and more informed, knowledgeable; you will come to understand everything, and still you will remain the same. The transformation is not possible through intellect. The transformation is going to be of the total being. It is going to be orgasmic. Intellect is just a part of your total being, so you will have to understand in the heart also as you understand in the head. Not only that; you will have to understand in your very bones, in the very guts, if you really want to understand.