Now I will take your problem against this background. Two children are born – one is good, one is bad. Why do you call one good and why do you call the other bad? Is it really, is it reality – or your interpretation? Which child is good, and why? If the child is obedient the child is good; if the child is disobedient the child is bad. One who follows you is good, one who resists is bad. Whatsoever you say, the one accepts it. If you say: “Sit silently” – the one sits. But the other tries to disobey, tries to be rebellious – the other is bad. This is your interpretation. You are not saying anything about the children; you are saying something about your mind.
Why is the obedient one good? In fact, the obedient ones have never been brilliant, have never been very radiant; they have always been dull. No obedient child has been a great scientist or a great religious man, or a great poet – no child who is obedient. Only disobedient ones have been great inventors, creators; only the rebellious one transcends the old and reaches to the new and into the unknown.
But for the parents’ ego the obedient one feels good, because it helps your ego. When the child follows you, whatsoever you say, you feel good; when the child resists and denies you, you feel bad.
But a really alive child will be rebellious.
Why should he follow you? Who are you? Why should he follow you just because you are a father? What have you done to be a father? You have been just a passage – and that too very unconscious. Your sex is not a conscious act, you have been pushed by unconscious forces to move into it. The child is just an accident. You were never expecting, you were not consciously aware to whom you were giving an invitation to come. The child has suddenly come as a stranger. You have fathered it, but you are not the father.
When I say you have fathered it, it is a biological thing. You were not needed, even a syringe can do that. But you are not a father because you are not conscious. You have not given the invitation, you have not asked a particular soul to enter the womb of your wife, your beloved. You have not worked for it.
And when the child is born, what have you been doing to it? When you say the child should follow you, are you confident enough that you know the truth that he should follow you? Are you confident enough, certain that you have realized something that the child should follow?
You can force yourself on the child because the child is weak and you are strong. That is the only difference between you and your child. Otherwise you are also childish, ignorant; you have not grown, you are not mature. You will get angry just like the child, you will get jealous just like the child, and you will play with toys just like the child. Your toys may be different, a little bigger, that’s all.
What is your life? Where have you reached? What wisdom have you gained so that the child should follow you and should say yes to you whatsoever you demand?