Although men and women have suffered together, creating all kinds of troubles for each other, there has not been in ten thousand years any revolution, any change in their relationships. What your parents have been doing, you are repeating. Your children will learn from you, and they will repeat it. You know that this is how life goes on…you remember your parents, or perhaps even your grandparents. And your children are learning everything from you, and they know this is the way life has to be lived.
So if you want consolation, go somewhere else – any priest will be helpful: Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, Mohammedan, Jewish.
I am not here for consolation.
Consolation to me is poison.
I want to help you to see clearly how you are creating your own world. To me, you are your own world, and you are your world’s creator. Neither your past life nor any God is deciding what is happening in your life; you are the decisive factor. Take responsibility for it. Be strong, have some stamina, and make an effort to change.
But first you ask the question, and if I don’t answer then you feel rejected. Just the other day there was one question, “I have asked my question many times, and you are not replying. I feel very much rejected.” You don’t leave me any space. And if I answer it, then you feel hurt. My answer is going to hurt you – hurt you terribly, because my answer is going to open your wounds which you have been hiding, of which you may not be aware.
Just last night I was talking about Dhyan Om and his ex-girlfriend Latifa, because they were continuously fighting. It seems their whole psychology was completely fixed: each was trying to dominate the other, and both were strong people. Nobody was submissive and there was no solution.
If one was weaker and had submitted, seeing all the trouble, the problem would have remained but there would have been a cold war; undercurrents would have continued. But because both were strong personalities…and nothing is wrong in being strong, but they were misusing their strength. Every good thing can be misused.
It is not only weakness that creates problems, it is also strength that creates problems. If one of them were weaker, that person would have accepted the slavery and they would have been a good couple. Such good couples you can find everywhere. Their goodness consists only in the fact that the woman has surrendered. She has accepted for centuries to be secondary, not to try to dominate directly. But indirectly she goes on torturing, nagging, being bitchy; that is a natural outcome of an unwilling state.
Nobody can love slavery. Everybody hates it. And the man who has forced the slavery, rather than being your lover, becomes your enemy. So on the surface, just a thin layer of love…and underneath there is so much hate. But you are not aware of that hate because it is in the deep darkness of your unconscious.