Don’t be worried about what people say; remember only how you feel yourself. If you are feeling joyous, drunk with blissfulness, there is no need for any control. Control is dangerous, because control means you are not allowing your nature its flow. Control means you are cutting off…trying to force yourself to be a certain way, the way others expect you to be. People give respectability and honor to those who are following the rules of their game; they will not give you respectability, and they will not give you honor. But to be crazy and natural is so valuable that these bogus values of honor, respectability, reputation, don’t have any meaning.
You cannot fly out of control; it is simply not possible. It is just that you have always remained in control, so just relaxing a little you become afraid.
It happened in the religious class of a small school: the teacher was telling the students to draw, according to them, the concept of God. She had been explaining to them the Christian concept of God.
The bishop had come to see how things are going in the class, and she wanted to show something from the small boys and girls.
They had all drawn pictures, and one small boy had drawn a picture of an airplane with four windows. Even the bishop was struck: what kind of an idea of God does he have? And from every window something looking like a man…?
The teacher said, “What is this? This is your idea of God?”
The boy said, “You have told us that God is a trinity: the first is God the Father – you can see…with the beard of ancient old age. In the second window is the son – you can even see the cross – Jesus Christ. In the third you don’t see any face because it is the holy ghost – just something like a whirlwind.”
The bishop and the teacher together asked him, “What about the fourth? From where has the fourth come?”
The little boy said, “The fourth?… Pontius the pilot. Without him the airplane will go out of control.”
Don’t be worried; nature itself takes care of you. You relax…and that is the meaning of surrender: that you relax and you allow nature to take you wherever it wants to take you. You don’t have any plan, you don’t have any guidebook, you don’t have a certain goal, you don’t have any desire to reach somewhere; wherever nature takes you will be your home, will be your destiny.
You are also worried that “my meditations are difficult…I am so excited and high most of the time. Maybe you will give some clue to quiet this bouncing heart.” There is no clue; let it bounce as much as it can. And you are excited and high most of the time: enjoy it. Nobody can remain forever excited and high – and the more you are excited and high, the sooner you will be relaxed.
And right now – when you are so excited and high, with a bouncing heart – if you try to meditate, you are just trying something which is against your nature at this moment. Forget meditation for the moment. Meditation will come; first get tired.
When you are calm, you will see that meditation is happening. The heart is bouncing no more; you are not flying high; you are no longer excited; flat on the earth…and meditation begins. But first, let this whole energy be exhausted.