If you feel like dying in it, then die; die completely, don’t cling to life. Once you stop clinging to life, real life becomes available to you. The more you cling to life, the more you are clinging to death itself. This life is nothing but death – death camouflaged, covered, hidden. Once you accept death, this life disappears, but another dimension opens.
So go on with this meditation, and if too much fear comes, just take the locket in your hand, and don’t fight what is happening; just relax in it. If death comes, then just accept it and fall into its hands.
Immediately you will feel a tremendous transformation coming over you. It rarely happens, so feel happy and grateful for this experience. …And don’t be afraid!
I expect in certain situations, out of habit, to feel all sorts of things…you know – passion, love, hate, anger – all these kind of things. But now I feel a dispassion is happening, I’m feeling…cooler.
That’s very good. One should be happier that one is feeling cooler!
Yes! I guess I’m creating some sort of conflict, like expecting to feel it…
No, no, don’t create conflict, because it is natural. This is how the whole mind goes on in contradictions.
People want to attain to a deeper integration. They want a certain tranquility, a place inside which is beyond distractions. When it comes though they become afraid, because then they feel that when the anger, the so-called love, the hate, and all those passions and storms of the mind are left far behind, they are disappearing. Then they suddenly become panicky. They feel as if life is slipping from their hands, and the coolness feels like death. But coolness is real life, and if you can wait a little longer you will see that.
Love will come back, but now it will be totally different and will have a different glow. It will be cool and dispassionate – and when love is dispassionate it has a tremendous depth to it. A passionate love is just on the surface. It makes too much noise but says nothing of worth. But when love becomes cool, it has a depth. The ocean is silent, there is no storm, but the depth of the ocean is there.
A cool love is more like compassion. Passion is nothing! It is, in a way, destructive. It destroys you, and it destroys the other with whom you have become related in it. Compassion is creative but it has a coolness, because all integrity is cool.