If it had happened to somebody else it would have been understandable. But a man who runs a prestigious institute like Esalen, who is the founder, if he could not understand the simple phenomenon of transference, then who is going to understand? Not only did he fail, but through him he betrayed Fritz Perls too: that if living with him for so many years and being his disciple he could not understand the simple phenomenon of transference, what else could he understand? And remember, trees are known by their fruits; the master is known by the disciples. He has, through his cowardice, condemned his own master.
He became so angry. Not seeing his fears, not seeing his death-oriented cowardice, he started projecting all his violence and anger on the group. And he escaped before the Tantra group started, without telling anybody. He was to see me before he was to leave, but for that he would have had to do the Tantra group. He left without seeing me. He didn’t even participate in Tantra. He didn’t participate in Encounter either, but at least he was a spectator there. But in Tantra he was not even courageous enough to be a spectator.
Now he is talking against me, without understanding what he has done.
Man is made of two things: being and non-being. Man is a strange phenomenon. Something in him is very existential, and something in him is very non-existential. The existential is sex, and the non-existential is death; and man is a combination of sex and death. And unless you know both without any prejudice, you will not be able to transcend, you will not be able to become a real meditator. One has to face these two facts. These are the ultimate facts of life, and these are the tests: if you face them, unafraid, they are holding the keys to eternal life. It is through them that you will be able to enter into the kingdom of God.
These two groups are very important groups. All the other groups are, in a way, a preparation for these two. But the fear is there. One has to go into these experiences in spite of the fear.
Just see how you are made with being and non-being. Something in you is present: that is your sexuality. That’s why in deep sexual experience the past and future disappear and you are utterly present to the present moment and it becomes a moment of meditation. So is the case with death: if death suddenly is encountered, the mind stops, all past and future disappear again.
If you have been in an accident, when you see that another car is coming and there is no way to avoid it and the accident is going to happen – just a few seconds more and you are gone – in those few seconds all thoughts disappear. Suddenly there is silence, utter silence. Silence that you have been seeking your whole life and were not able to attain, is attained. It comes from nowhere. Death makes you again present to the moment; it brings you to the moment.
These are the two most potential experiences. Please, don’t be afraid and don’t avoid them.
Geet Govind has written a letter to me too, “I will remain a sannyasin of yours only if you change the structures of the groups that are being run in Pune. Then I will believe you, that you are a Bhagwan, an enlightened person; otherwise you are just Mr. Rajneesh. “