Each time I come close to you, it looks like my mind doesn’t work anymore. I cannot hold on to any concrete thought; everything disappears as if in a white, light cloud. On one side it is like coming home after all this intense longing, and on the other side the fear of becoming crazy comes up. Is this the fear of losing control, or the first step of becoming a disciple and part of a divine madness? Am I on the right path?
The mind is the wrong path, and the no-mind is the right path. Mind is basically mad, and sanity is possible only, blossoms only, in a state of no-mind. If this is remembered, then nothing else is needed.
Coming close to me, your mind is bound to disappear for the simple reason that I am not a mind. The closer you come to me, the more you will be filled with a silence, serenity, no-mindness.
It is also natural that you will feel a little fear, because you have lived your whole life with the mind. And in the world it is being taught to everybody that losing the mind is madness. It is not the whole truth, because no madman ever loses the mind; in fact the madman is lost in the mind – his mind has become a jungle and he cannot find a way out of it. It is not that he has lost the mind, he is lost in the mind. He is more mind than he ever was before.
The madman has more mind than you have. Your mind is not so uncontrollable, not so big, not so vast; it is a normal size, manageable. The madman has lost himself in a vast, unlimited jungle of thoughts, desires, dreams.
So the maxim that “losing the mind is madness” is not right; it has to be changed. Losing yourself in the mind is madness. And if you understand this, then the definition of sanity is simple: coming out of the mind into the open, into the silence, where no thought, no desire disturbs you.
You are just a pool of silence, not even a ripple on it – this is sanity. But because you have lived your whole life in the mind, the first step out of the mind will look dangerous. You are going, according to the world, into craziness. According to me, you are going into sanity. And you can be a witness to it, because when you are close to me and the mind disappears…are you more sane, or more insane than you usually are in your day-to-day life?
In the silence of no-mind, how can you be crazy? Craziness needs contradictory thoughts, irrelevant thoughts, inconsistent thoughts dragging you in all directions, pulling you into pieces. You are somehow holding yourself together, but you know that if you drop control even for a single moment you will fall into pieces. And it will be impossible to put those pieces together again – who will do it?
The mind is afraid. But this is one part of being with a master: without your knowing, you have already come out of the mind for a moment. You have tasted, experienced that there is no fear of going crazy. And the farther you go beyond mind, the more intelligent you become.