A few months ago I had what seemed to be a great realization – that all you have ever been teaching is witnessing. At the time I was very excited about it but this has faded, leaving me after twelve years of sannyas still with the question: what am I doing with my time here? And the feeling that there is some dimension that I am not yet experiencing or that somehow I am still missing you. Would you say something about this, and maybe a prayer for me?
To expect is to be disappointed. Jesus says, “Seek and you shall find it.” I disagree with him absolutely, categorically. I say unto you, “Seek and you will never find” – because the searching mind cannot be silent, the searching mind cannot be at ease. The searching mind is always looking into the future; it is never here-now. The searching mind distracts you from reality.
Jesus again says, “Ask and it shall be given to you.” And I say unto you, “Ask and you have missed it” – because the asking mind is the mind of a beggar. This beautiful existence belongs to the emperors, not to the beggars. And you don’t have to have an empire to be an emperor. Just look at me: I don’t have any empire, but that does not destroy my being an emperor. In fact the people who have empires are not emperors, they are imprisoned in their own empire, worried, continuously afraid of being invaded – a thousand and one worries. What kind of being an emperor is this?
Jesus also says, “Knock and the doors shall be opened unto you.” I don’t want to disagree with the poor carpenter. He would have been a beautiful sannyasin. He was just a little eccentric, but that is not a bad quality; it gives some color to life.
The statement “Seek and the doors shall be opened unto you” is again the same thing – between you and the future. You seek, then the doors shall be opened.
I say unto you, “Don’t seek. Don’t ask. Don’t knock and disturb the neighbors! The door is open – enter.”
I have spoken about one of the most beautiful women, Al-Adabiya, a Sufi mystic of very rare quality. She was passing by the side of the mosque…she never went into the mosque. If this whole existence is not his temple, then man-made houses will be too small; he cannot be a guest in those small houses. They are going to remain empty and waiting.
She had heard many times of another seeker, who finally became a master – and he became a master because of Al-Adabiya. There is a limit…he was continuously praying, sitting outside the mosque, “God, open the door, let me in.” She tolerated him for a few days, but the point came when she could not tolerate it. She hit him hard on his head and said, “You idiot, open your eyes! The doors are open, and there is no need to pray for it.”
A crowd gathered. Hassan was very much respected as a religious man, a man of prayer, and Al-Adabiya was thought of as something crazy; she was always doing crazy things. Now she had done the last crazy thing. But to Hassan something happened. He looked into the eyes of Adabiya, touched her feet and said, “I am sorry, please forgive me. The doors are open.”