Sex has promised too much, but it has not been supplied. It is difficult to find a man or a woman who does not feel a little frustrated after the sexual act, who does not feel a little guilty. I am not talking about the guilt that priests have imposed upon you. Even if nobody has imposed any guilt upon you, you will feel a little guilt – that is part, a shadow of the sexual act. You have lost energy, you feel depleted, and nothing has been gained. The gain is not very substantial. You have been befooled, you have been tricked by a natural hypnosis; you have been tricked by the body, you have been deceived. Hence comes a frustration.
Hinayana says: Watch this frustration more deeply. Watch the sexual act and the way your energy moves into the sexual act, become aware of it and you will see there is nothing in it. And frustration. The more you become aware, the less will be the enjoyment and the more will be the frustration. Then the shift has started taking place: your consciousness is moving away, and naturally, and spontaneously. You are not forcing it.
The second step becomes available: enriching. Your own energy goes on feeding your being. You no more throw it into the other’s body, you no more throw it out. It becomes a deep accumulation inside you. You become a pool. And out of that feeling of energy you feel very cool. Sex is very hot. The enriching stage is very cool, calm, collected. There is a celebration, but it is very silent. There is a dance to it, but it is very graceful; there is elegance to it.
Then comes the third step: crystallizing. When this energy inside you has started an inner dance, by and by, slowly, enjoying it more and more, becoming more and more aware of it, a certain chemical crystallization happens in you. Exactly the same word was used by Gurdjieff in his work: crystallization. Your fragments fall together, you become one. A unity arises in you. In fact, for the first time you can say “I have an I.” Otherwise there were many I’s; now you have one I, a big I which controls everything. You have become your master.
And the fourth step is destroying. When you have one I, then it can be destroyed. When you have many I’s, they cannot be destroyed. When your energy has become one and is centered it can be killed, it can be completely destroyed. When it is a crowd it is difficult to destroy it. You destroy one fragment, there are a thousand other fragments. When you rush after those other fragments, the first one grows again. It is just like the way trees grow branches: you cut one, three branches sprout out of it.
You can destroy sexuality totally only when it has become a crystallized phenomenon. When a person has accumulated too much energy and has become one, is no more fragmentary, no more split, no more schizophrenic, then Buddhists have a special term for it, they call it “Manjushree’s sword.”
It is said that when Manjushree reached to this third stage – he was a disciple of Buddha, a great disciple of Buddha – when he reached to this stage of crystallization, in one single moment he took his sword and destroyed it completely, utterly, in a single moment. It is not a gradual process then. That has become known down the centuries as “the sword of Manjushree.”