I am sixty years old, but yet the same desires persist. What is the matter with me?
Growing old is not growing up. Time by itself does not bring wisdom. Yes, it brings many experiences, but experiences by themselves cannot deliver wisdom to you.
Wisdom is a totally different phenomenon. It does not happen through experiences of the outside world. It happens when you become centered within your being, when you become rooted in your being, when you become integrated, when you are no longer a crowd and you become a crystallized soul.
Desires can’t disappear just because you have become sixty years old. You can be six hundred years old and desires will be there, in fact more, because they will be also six hundred years old. Your desires are sixty years old; they have gone deep in you in sixty years.
People have this idea that when you are young you suffer from desires, when you become old you go beyond them. Just by being old? That is ridiculous! You don’t go beyond desires just by being old. You simply become a hypocrite; you start pretending that you have gone beyond desires. Maybe you can’t go into desires because there is no energy available, but the mind thinks more and more. Because you can’t do anything, your whole energy becomes cerebral. The young person can do something about his desires; you cannot, so you only think.
And as death starts coming closer and closer, a great fear arises: so many desires are there which are unfulfilled. You become afraid: if death comes and takes you away… It is bound to happen sooner or later, and the possibility is of sooner than later. All those desires start taking possession of you. “Fulfill us,” they say. “Time is short. Do something.” You start going crazy. You become continuously obsessed.
A moralist addressing an audience thundered, “Remember, my friends, when temptation comes your way you must resist it – resist it!”
“I would like to,” said one of the old men, “but I am always afraid it may never come again.”
That fear is natural. Death may come before the temptation comes again. Who knows? – it may not come again. The old man becomes more and more afraid of losing his desires.