The first question:
Sitting fretfully, squirming endlessly, does the spring still come and the grass grow by itself?
The spring still comes. It does not depend whether you are sitting silently or fretfully, whether you are sitting or not sitting at all. It does not depend on you; it comes on its own accord. And the grass goes on growing, but if you are not sitting silently you will miss it. It will come, but you will not be able to feel it. It will come, but you will not be able to experience it. The grass will grow, but you will not grow.
The sun rises, the night disappears, but the light is only for those who have eyes and only for those who open their eyes: otherwise you will remain in darkness. The sun will be there, the light will be there, but you will not be bathed in its light; you will remain the same.
The whole question is whether you are closed or open. Silence opens you; the inner noise keeps you closed to existence, within and without both. The outside is a beautiful world: the whole sky with the stars, the flowers, the birds singing, the clouds floating, the rivers, the mountains. And the inside world is even far more beautiful, because the outside is the manifest part of the inside and the inside is vaster than the outside. The unmanifest is unlimited, the manifest is bound to be limited. The unmanifest contains all the future possibilities; the manifest contains only that which has become actual in the past. The unmanifest contains all the universes that will ever happen in the coming eternity. Of course, it is far bigger than the outer.
Between the two is the mind. Between the within and the without there is a wall – a China Wall – of thoughts, desires, memories, expectations, frustrations. And because of the thick wall and the constant noise that is bound to be there…each memory hankering to be listened to, each desire nagging you to be fulfilled, each imagination forcing you to be realized, each expectation torturing you, goading you so that you can succeed in fulfilling it. The noise is great; there is great conflict. The desires are antagonistic to each other.
If you want to be powerful, of course you will have to choose a few desires and you will have to leave a few desires. There are desires to be famous, desires to be wealthy, desires to be powerful, and desires to be healthy, and desires to be loved, and desires to be creative; they all cannot be fulfilled simultaneously. And whenever you choose. the unchosen desires will nag you; they will try to drag you towards themselves.