This is only the beginning. Much is to follow. If I feel you are receptive then much will follow. If I feel you are not receptive, then the beginning will be the end. You will gain much even in the beginning – but not the whole thing. So in many ways I try to know your receptivity.
If someone comes and I give him the mala…the picture is there, it is predictable that he should ask, “Why this picture, and of you?” It is very predictable. But if he does not ask – simply wears the mala, asks no questions, is not curious – he has given a deeper hint about himself. That things which cannot be questioned can be delivered to him. There are things which cannot be delivered if questioned, because no proof can be manipulated for them. No reasoning can be given for them: there cannot be answers to your questions. They are bare statements of knowing – with no proofs, with no witness.
So if I see someone who comes to me, and I have given him things about which ordinarily mind is prone to ask questions, and he does not ask, he has proved capable of being given deeper things which should not be questioned. In so many ways, how much you are tethered to the reasoning part of the mind is to be known. I have to know it because the more you are tethered to the reasoning part, the less you are capable of knowing deeper things – because reason is the most superficial part of your being, the most superficial.
Although it claims to be the deepest – and only the superficial claims to be the deep – reason is the most superficial part of your being. It has something to do, it has some utility, but only utility. If you think of it as a vehicle to go into the unknown, then you will never, never be able to know anything that is worth knowing.
So I use so many devices also to know you. Each and everything has so many reasons. If a person resists…. Someone wrote me a letter fifteen days ago saying, “I can be initiated by you. I want to be initiated by you. But I cannot make you my guru.”
I am no one’s guru, I myself never claim to be a guru – but to this man I will claim to be a guru. To this man I cannot say, “I allow you not to think of me as your guru.” He has shown his incapacity so clearly. If you are not a disciple, then I will have to be a guru. If you are a disciple then I need not be a guru – there is no necessity. But if you insist on your egoist non-surrender, then I will have to insist on so many things to destroy your ego. I will have to use so many devices to make you egoless.
If you are egoless then I will not use any device. So the problem becomes more puzzling: to one who is ready to be a disciple, I will say, “I am not your guru. It is enough that you are a disciple.” But to the one who says, “I will not believe you. I will not take you as my guru,” I will insist. Otherwise this man cannot be initiated. He is coming with a condition, and you cannot be initiated with your conditions.