You are so much in me, it’s just more and more amazing. You are the most surprising friend I ever dreamt of having. I find myself talking to you inside, sharing. Sometimes I have the urge to ask so many essential things, just like an ongoing intimate affair. I feel you in every corner of my being, in the here and now, in all moments, and yet it’s very subtle; who are you, who am I? Do you hear me, or am I just getting off the wall?
I hear you, and you are not just getting off the wall. It is not your imagination; you are mature enough, centered enough. To imagine, to dream…you may have done it in the past, but not now. Whatever you are describing in your question is absolutely true. Only one problem is there which I cannot answer.
You are asking, “Who are you, who am I?” I don’t know. Neither has anyone ever known; and this unknowability is the beauty of our being. You are saying, “You are so much in me, it is just more and more amazing. You are the most surprising friend I ever dreamt of having. I find myself talking to you inside, sharing. Sometimes I have the urge to ask so many essential things, just like an ongoing, intimate affair. I feel you in every corner of my being, in the here and now, in all moments, and yet it is very subtle.”
This is only the beginning. Soon your questions will disappear, my answers will disappear. The dialogue will remain, but it will be not in words, but in silence. Soon you are going to have a much more surprising experience. The friend that you have found will disappear, and at the same moment you will disappear too, and there will be just a nothingness – not empty, not negative, but overflowing with joy.
You have taken the first step towards reality, now never look backwards. And however dangerous it seems…because as questions and answers and me and you start disappearing, you will find yourself entering into a more and more unknown space.
This I call “the razor’s edge.” Those who are courageous – and as I feel you, you have every potential to be courageous – enter into the unknown; but the unknown is not the end. Very soon the unknown starts taking you into the unknowable, and that is the exact space of mysticism. In that unknowable you will know who you are and who I am.
But there are no words to express it. One simply has a good laugh, because this unknowable has been always within you, your most intimate inner reality, and you have been searching for it all over the world in many, many lives.
It is strange that the guest was in your home – to be more exact, the host was the guest – and you were searching. And every search was going to be a failure, was bound to be a failure, was destined to bring frustration. The moment you find that the host is the guest, that, “I am that which I have been searching for,” all that remains is just to have a good belly laugh.