You are a negative person, just as everybody is before transformation. You are full of despair, just as everybody else is full of despair before the inner revolution that takes you from darkness to light and from death to eternal life, which frees you from all bondage and gives you wings and the whole sky. But you have not done anything; you have simply waited, expecting that it is going to happen. You have to prepare the ground, the house, for the guest who is coming.
In a negative mind it is impossible. And I am not saying that you have to become positive, I am saying simply drop negativity. There is no need to be positive; that will be repression. Can’t you remain without being negative and without being positive? Just clean, hanging with nothing? Just pure, with no decision, with no conclusion, with no judgment? It is possible, and that is the way to enlightenment.
But ordinarily your life has been divided into these two polar opposites: either be negative or be positive. Either be theist or be an atheist – as if there is no third alternative. So neither the atheist finds the truth nor does the theist find it.
One is blocked by his belief, another is blocked by his disbelief. One is blocked because he has said a phony yes, and one is blocked because he has said a phony no. Without inquiring, to say no is below human dignity. That’s why I suggested to you a third word: po.
Be in the state of po: no “yes,” no “no.” And you will feel a great silence – in the beginning a little fear, because your yes was giving you a certain consolation, your no was giving you a certain consolation.
Your yes was saying to you, “God is there and He is taking care of us all.” With the no you were consoled, because there is no God and there is nothing to fear: with death everything ends.
But with po, you don’t have any consolation, you have only an opening. You have to inquire what is really the case, on your own.
Truth borrowed becomes a lie.
You cannot purchase truth by your austerities, by your fasting, by standing on your head and all kinds of stupidities. You have to seek and search with an open mind. And the mind can be open only if there is no “yes” and no “no.” You are simply a tabula rasa, a clean sheet of paper; nothing is written on it.
So it is good that you have come to realize your reality. Now work on this reality. You were hoping to get transmuted without any work. You hoped too much, you imagined too much. And now another stupid idea is arising in your mind: “Is the honeymoon over?”
It was not a honeymoon. Sitting on the windowsill, looking at the moon – and your honey is lying naked in the bed. It was simply the moon, not the honeymoon.
And if you had been with your honey, even without the moon, the honeymoon would have happened. Moon is not a necessity for a honeymoon, honey is necessary! From where has that moon entered into it?