The first question:
Why am I always interested in married women?
There is nothing special about it, it is a very common disease which exists in almost epidemic proportions. But there are reasons to it. Millions of people, men and women both, are more interested in the married person. First, the unmarried person shows that nobody has yet desired him or her; the married person shows that somebody has desired him. And you are so imitative that you cannot even love on your own. You are such a slave that when somebody else is loving somebody, only then can you follow. But if the person is alone and nobody is in love with them, then you are suspicious. Maybe the person is not of worth, otherwise why should he or she wait for you? The married person has great attraction for the imitator.
Secondly, people love less – people, in fact, don’t know what love is; they compete more. The married man…and you become interested, or the married woman…and you become interested, because now there is a possibility to compete. The triangular fight is possible. The woman is not easily available, there is going to be struggle.
In fact you are not interested in the woman, you are interested in the struggle. Now the woman is almost a commodity; you can fight for her and you can prove your mettle. You can displace the husband and you will feel very good…an ego trip, it is not a love trip. But remember, once you succeed in disposing of the husband you will not be interested in the woman anymore. You were interested in the married woman; how can you be interested in the unmarried woman now? – again you will start looking for some fight somewhere. You will always make it a triangle. This is not love.
In the name of love there is jealousy, there is competition, there is aggression, there is violence. You want to prove yourself, you want to prove yourself against the man: Look, I have taken away your woman. Once you have taken away the woman you will not be interested in the woman at all, because she was not the desired thing; the desired thing was a sort of victory.
I have heard….
A certain prominent businessman lost his wife and the funeral became a public occasion. All the dignitaries of the town attended and almost all were known to the bereaved. There was, however, a stranger, and he seemed more upset than anyone. Before the funeral was over he broke down completely.
The bereaved husband asked, “Who was this weeping stranger?”
“Ah!” whispered someone, “Didn’t you know? He was your late wife’s lover.”