Falling in love – that love is going to be disrupted somewhere, and the sooner it is understood that it is gone, the better; otherwise you become too entangled in a thousand and one things. Those are the things which make it difficult to separate.
When you fall in love, no questions arise. You are clean, the other person is clean. But when you want to separate, the days, the nights, the years that you have lived together, loved together, experienced something which is one of the most beautiful gifts of nature – you go on becoming entangled.
You go on giving promises to each other…and it is not that you are lying or deceiving; in those beautiful moments those promises seem to be absolutely coming from your heart. But when those moments are gone – and they will be gone, because it has been a fall, and nobody can remain in a fallen state for eternity. Someday he has to rise again. And the moment you start separating, all those entanglements, your promises, the other’s promises, create the complexity.
Rising in love is something spiritual.
Falling in love is something biological.
Biology is blind, that’s why love is called blind. But the love I am talking about is the only insight that is easily available to everyone. Just a little effort….
Love should come out of your silence, awareness, meditativeness. It is soft, it is unbinding – because how can love create fetters for the one who is loved? It is giving freedom to each other, more and more. As the love grows deeper, freedom becomes bigger. As the love grows deeper, you start accepting the person as he is. You stop trying to change the person.
It is one of the miseries of the world that lovers are continuously trying to change the other person. They don’t know that if the person really changes, their love will disappear, because they had not fallen in love with this changed person in the first place. They had fallen in love with a person who was not touched by their ideas – “Change this and that.”
Rising in love, you become aware that the other has his own territorial imperative, and you are not to encroach upon it.
If love becomes freedom, then there is no need to separate. The idea of separation arises because you go on seeing that you are becoming more and more a slave, and nobody likes slavery.
But you always ask me when you are in the ditch and cannot get out. One thing is certain: I am not coming into the ditch to take you out! You two have to manage it. If I come in the ditch to help you out, you both will be out and I will be in the ditch! And I don’t know anybody whom I can ask, “How to get out of here?”