To become aware of this very disturbing reality is difficult because it takes the very ground from underneath your feet. You are left so lonely that you again start believing in old dreams, relationship, this and that. You again start creating bridges, but you never succeed, have never succeeded. Not that your effort is not enough, not that your skill is not enough, but because in the very nature of things, attachment is an impossibility. You are trying to do something which reality does not allow.
Your aloneness is eternal. Buddha says to understand this aloneness and to remain true to it is the meaning of dropping attachments. Not that you escape from the world, but simply all attachments drop, bridges drop. And this is the beauty – that when all attachments drop, you become more understanding, and your life with others becomes more peaceful…because you don’t hope, you don’t hope for the impossible, you don’t expect. Whatsoever happens you feel grateful and whatsoever does not happen you know it cannot happen. You become, in a deeper way, very accepting. You don’t force reality according to your desires. You start learning how to let go, how to be one and harmonious with the reality itself.
…understands the source of his own mind, penetrates the deepest doctrine of Buddha…
What is …the deepest doctrine of buddha…? Buddha’s greatest message is the message of no-self, anatta – that is his deepest doctrine. That you have to understand. First he says don’t make a home here, then he says don’t be attached, then he says look into yourself; you are not.
First he says the world is illusory, don’t make a home here. Then he says attachments are just dreams, drop all attachments from your mind. And then he comes to his deepest doctrine. The doctrine is: now look inside, you are not.
You can exist only with the home, with the possessions, with the relationships. The “I” is nothing but a combination of all these dreams, a cumulative effect. Dreams of possessing things, dreams of possessing people – relationships, attachment, love, passion, dreams of future – all these accumulate and become the ego. When you drop all these, suddenly you disappear, and in your disappearance the law starts functioning in its truest way. That is what the Buddha calls the dhamma, the Tao, the ultimate law.
So there are three layers of the ego. First layer, the world – your house, your car, your bank balance. Second, attachments – your relationships, your affairs, your children, wife, husband, friends, enemies. And the deepest layer, you. And these all are joined together. If you really want to get rid of your ego, you will have to move in a very scientific way. That’s what Buddha is doing.
First, no home; second, no relationships; third, no self. If you do the two first things, the preliminary things, the third happens automatically – you look inside and you are not there. And when you see that you are not there – there is no entity inside, no substantial entity, you cannot call yourself “I” – you are freed. This is what liberation is in the Buddhist way. This is what nirvana is.
The word nirvana means cessation of the self, arising of a no-self, emptiness…the zero experience. Nothing is, only nothing is.