This is the situation. Drunk with desires, staggering, you knock at your own door and ask where your home is. You are really asking who you are. This is home, and you have never left it, it is impossible to leave it. It is not something outside you which is going to leave and go away. It is your within, it is your very being.
Asking where God is, is foolish, because you cannot lose God. It is your within, your innermost being, your very core. It is your existence: you breathe him, you live him, and it cannot be otherwise. The only thing that has happened is that you have become so drunk, that you cannot recognize your own face. And unless you come back and get sober you will go on searching and seeking and you will go on missing.
Tao, Zen, Yoga, Sufism, Hassidism, these are all methods to bring you back, to make you sober again, to destroy your drunkenness. Why are you so drunk? What makes you so drunk? Why are your eyes so sleepy? Why aren’t you alert? What is the root cause of it all? The root cause is that you desire.
Try to understand the nature of desire. Desire is alcoholic, desire is the greatest drug possible. Marijuana is nothing, LSD is nothing. Desire is the greatest LSD possible – the ultimate in drugs.
What is the nature of desire? When you desire, what happens? When you desire, you are creating an illusion in the mind; when you desire, you have already moved from here. Now you are not here, you are absent, because the mind is creating a dream. This absentness is your drunkenness.
Be present. This very moment the doors of heaven are open. There is no need even to knock because you are not outside heaven, you are inside. Just be alert and look around without eyes filled with desire, and you will have a belly laugh. You will laugh at the whole joke, at what has been happening. It is just like a man dreaming at night.
It happened once: a man was very disturbed – his nights were simply prolonged nightmares. His whole night was a struggle. It was so painful that he was always scared to go to sleep and he was always happy to get out of bed. The whole night was nightmarish – he was having very bad dreams, ferocious. The nature of the dreams was such, that the moment he fell asleep, he would start seeing millions of lions, dragons, tigers, reptiles, crocodiles, millions of them sitting underneath his small bed. So he couldn’t sleep because at any moment they would attack.
Knowing they would all be coming back the whole night was just a long disturbance, a torture, a hell. He was treated medically, but nothing would help. Everything failed. He was analyzed by psychologists, psychiatrists, but nobody could succeed. Then one day he walked out of his house laughing.
Nobody had seen him laughing for many years. His face had become hellish, always sad, afraid, scared. So the neighbors asked, “What is the matter? You are laughing? We have not seen you laughing for years. We have completely forgotten that you ever used to laugh. What happened to your nightmares?”
The man said, “I told my brother-in-law, and he cured me.”