So I am not saying drop the past so that you can live in the future. That is the past coming back through the back door again. If you drop the yesterdays, you will have to drop the tomorrows too. When all yesterdays and all tomorrows have disappeared, then what is left? – this moment, this purity, this silence, thisness. Buddha calls it tathata, suchness. There is nothing else to desire, there is no should, no ought, there is nowhere to go. One is utterly contented in this moment; one is relaxed, calm and quiet. All desires have disappeared because they can exist only through the past and through the future. And when there is no desire, how can there be mind? Mind is desiring. And when there is no mind how can there be an ego? Ego is the center of the false mind. This is the second best.
The third best is to love, because love is a sweet way to die, to disappear. The sweetest way to die is love. It helps you to drop the ego, and with no effort. And it helps you to drop the ego with such grace, with such joy, that if you cannot drop the ego through love then it will be very difficult to drop it at all.
In love, the other is available; the other is an excuse to drop the ego. And the beauty of the other, and the caressing warmth of the other, the protection, the shelter – it is easy to die because love gives one courage, courage to do the impossible. And love gives one a kind of drunkenness. In that drunkenness it is easy to take the jump, the quantum leap.
Love makes one mad. That madness is higher than what you call sanity, because your sanity remains crawling in the dark holes of the earth, and love opens its wings towards the sun. Love dares, is adventurous. Love is ready to die, because in love one feels that even if one dies, one cannot die. Love gives the feel of immortality. And the path of love is full of flowers – the birds are singing, and the trees are green, and it is very sunny. The easiest is the third.
But for a few people it is very difficult: the very idea of drowning oneself in the other makes them very much scared. The very presence of the other makes them shrink in. The very presence of the other and they become closed. If you are of that type, Miguel, then the fourth way is for you: to meditate.
That too is a way of dying – a little more dry than the third, a little more alone than the third, not so sweet, certainly, even a little bitter…but a few people like bitter tastes – coffee, cocoa. Likes differ, so if you like something bitter, spicy, something hard… There are people who are intrigued only by the harder course; the easy is not a challenge to them, the easy has no appeal for them. The harder the task, the more they rise to it. They are challenged only by the arduous, the difficult, the impossible; the impossible is their passion. For them is the way of meditation. Be alone – doing nothing, sitting silently, the spring comes and the grass grows by itself.
In love there is a song, a dialogue, a meeting, a merger. In meditation one simply evaporates. In one’s aloneness slowly, slowly one evaporates and one day nothing is found, the ego has died.
These are the four possibilities.
Miguel, you ask me, “Can you tell me what is best for me?” These four things. But the basic note is the same, and that is: learn to die, because that is the only way to learn to live. Let the ego die and your life starts taking the flavor of the divine. Death becomes the door to the divine – death of the ego.