That is why when someone asked Buddha, “Who are you? A deva, a heavenly being?” he said, “No.” And the questioner went on asking. Then the questioner became desperate, because whenever he asked Buddha who he is, if he is this or that, Buddha went on saying no. Then finally he asked, “At least you must say that you are male. You must say yes.” Buddha said, “No.” “Then are you a female?” the man asked desperately. Buddha said, “No.” – because a new unity has come into being which is neither male nor female.
When your inner man and inner woman meet, you are neither: you transcend sex. That is the meaning of the oldest Indian image of Shiva as Ardhanarishwar – half man, half woman. That is the symbol of the inner meeting. Shiva is neither now: he is half man, half woman – both and neither. He transcends sex.
Remember, unless you transcend sex, you cannot transcend duality. This is a deep psychological problem – not only psychological, but ontological also. If you remain a man or a woman, how can you conceive of the oneness of existence? You cannot. Being a man, you cannot conceive of yourself being one with a woman. Being a woman, you cannot conceive of yourself being one with a man. A duality persists.
Sex is the basic duality. We have been arguing about and discussing for centuries how to attain the nondual. But we go on discussing it as if it is some intellectual matter: “How to attain the nondual?” It is not an intellectual matter; it is ontological, existential. You can attain the nondual only when the duality within you disappears. It is not a question of meditating on the nondual and thinking, “I am the Brahman.” Nothing will come out of it; you are simply deluding yourself.
You cannot attain nonduality unless the basic duality of sex disappears within you, unless you come to a moment when you cannot say who you are – man or woman. And this happens only when your inner man and woman melt so much that they dissolve into each other and all the boundaries are lost, and all the distinctions are lost, and they are one. When the inner orgasm, the spiritual ecstasy happens, you are neither. And only when you are neither is life born.
In a single moment of meeting between your parents, your mother and father, you were born – in a single moment of meeting. Remember, life is always out of meeting, never out of separation. Life comes only in a deep meeting, in a deep communion. For a single moment your father and mother were one, they were not two. They were functioning as one being. In that oneness you were born.
Life always comes out of oneness. And the life that I am talking about, or Jesus talks about and Buddha talks about, is the life which will happen inside you, within you. Again a communion, a melting, happens, and the two sexualities within you dissolve.