After some thinking, the father was able to put his finger on the difficulty. He wrote back, “Look, son, I don’t want to seem to be a silly old man, but there is something which would make me very happy. It isn’t that I think you’re ungrateful in any way. But I’ve had to work very hard to raise you and send you to college and I never had a chance to go to college myself. What I mean is this: it would mean a lot to me if you would say, ‘We did this and we did that,’ instead of ‘I did this and I did that.’ It would help me to feel as if I had a part in it all.”
The boy understood immediately and thereafter letters came in the form, “Well, Dad, we won this big game last Saturday. We’ve got a date with a swell girl. We’re going to get an ‘A’ in history.” The old man took earnest pleasure in this sharing of experience. Days were sunny for him.
One day a telegram arrived: “Dear Dad, We got the Dean’s daughter in trouble. She had twins. Mine died. What are you going to do with yours?”
Mind is very cunning. Watch…when you agree with me, do you really agree with me? or do you find that I am agreeable to you? And then mind is very legal, mind is a lawyer: it can find ways to agree and yet remain the same. Not only that, but when you agree you start feeling as if now it is Osho’s duty to transform you – what more can you do?…you are agreeing, you have done your part. What more can you do?…you have agreed, you have become a sannyasin, you have surrendered. What more can you do? Now if nothing is happening you start getting angry at me.
Then when I say something to you, it is not exactly the same thing that you hear. You hear in your own way, you hear with all your interpretations. You hear through your past, through memories, through knowledge, through your conditionings. You hear through the mind and the mind gives a color to everything that you hear. It immediately jumps on it, changes it, makes it agreeable to you: drops a few things, exaggerates a few other things, fills the gaps. Only part of what I have said remains in it – and the part can never transform, only the whole.
But the whole can remain whole only when you are not making any effort to agree or disagree. When you are not making any effort to agree or disagree you can put the mind aside. If you are trying to make an effort to agree, how can you put the mind aside? It is mind which agrees or disagrees.
Understanding is something bigger than mind. Understanding happens in your total being. It is as much in your head as in your toe. Understanding is something total. Mind is a very tiny part, but very dictatorial, and it goes on pretending that it is the whole.
There was the middle-aged businessman who took his wife to Paris. After traipsing with her from one shop to another, he begged for a day off to rest, and got it. With the wife gone shopping again, he went to a bar and picked up a luscious Parisienne. They got on well until the question of money came up: she wanted fifty American dollars, he offered ten. They couldn’t get together on the price, so they didn’t get together.
That evening he escorted his wife to one of the nicer restaurants, and here he spotted his gorgeous babe of the afternoon seated at a table near the door.