You have done too much! You should not have done anything at all, because that is not the way to change. Relaxation will bring a transformation in you, and once you are a transformed being you become almost like a flame, which can share its fire with other unlit flames. It will attract, without your effort, those who are thirsty for light. It will attract those who have been missing all the joys of life, all the beauties of life; who have been wasting their time and energy in unnecessary effort.
Great things happen not by your doings, but when you are just waiting with open doors – spontaneously, on their own accord. Once you have learned the secret of spontaneity – and that the existence is over-compassionate, abundant with love, with joy, overflowing with all that you have been searching – once you stop running here and there, the whole existence becomes available to you.
You have really not only done too much, you seem to have some pride about it. And what is the result? How much less miserable is the world? How much less suffering is in the world? How much have your efforts beautified it, made it a more pleasant place? Forget the world…. What has it done to you? Your efforts, hard efforts – what have they done for you? How much more mature are you, more centered, more joyous, more at ease with life? How much have you known yourself? How much have you penetrated into the mysteries of your being? What is your total gain? Just being tired and exhausted…. And perhaps your hard work may have proved dangerous to many people, without your knowledge.
I have heard: in a Sunday school the teacher was reminding the small boys and girls, “I had told you last week to never let any day pass without doing a good act.”
The Sunday before she had been preaching about service to humanity, doing good acts: “Because that is the only way for you to become spiritual, virtuous, religious, valuable in the eyes of God.”
One small boy had said, “I understand what you are saying but I would like some specific instances. What should I do that would be considered as a ‘good act’?”
And just as an example she had told the students, “For example, an old woman wants to go to the other side of the street. It is rush hour, perhaps she is blind – then you have to help her, and take her to the other side. And this will be a virtuous, a good act.”
So she asked them, “Have you done any good acts in the last week?” One boy waved his hands, then another, and then another. Only three boys out of the whole class. She was very angry that the whole week has passed and only three boys had done good acts. But she wanted to know what they had done.
So she asked the first boy, and he said, “I have done exactly what you told us: I helped a blind old woman to cross the road from one side to the other. It was really difficult, very hard.”
The teacher could not understand why it should be so difficult, but perhaps the traffic was too much. She asked the other boy.