But right now it is too early. Listen to the mind; try to understand. You are not yet ripe. Your meditation is not yet deep enough, but it is deepening. So be happy that you are on the right track.
For sixty years Ruthy Finkelstein has lived with her tight-fisted husband Moishe. One fine day Moishe dies and Ruthy has him cremated.
She takes the ashes home with her in a plastic urn. She walks around her home carrying the urn and talking to the dead Moishe. “Moishe,” she says, “look at the fridge! All those years you would not give me money for housekeeping. Now look, it is full of champagne and caviar. And Moishe, look at my closet. All the time we were married you never allowed me more than one new dress every two years. Now look, it is full of silk dresses and fur coats and the jewelry box is full of diamonds. And Moishe, all those years you would not let me have anything to do with the business. Well, today I took over as chairman.”
Finally, in the bedroom she opens the little plastic urn and shakes his ashes onto the windowsill. “And Moishe,” she says, “you remember that blow job you always nagged me for? Well, here it is…pfft!”
Don’t take things seriously; life is so hilarious. There is no urgency to be enlightened. It is unfortunate that I became enlightened too early! But now nothing can be done about it – once enlightened, enlightened forever.
Let life and its different dimensions be experienced by you. As you experience life, slowly, slowly you become aware of its emptiness. Slowly, slowly you become aware that this is not your authentic being. In this slow process of experiencing, one day you come home. Then it is not a dream, not an imagination. And the most significant criterion to remember is that you will not find mind in your authentic enlightenment. The question of doubt does not arise, not even for a moment. You simply know what is the case.
I know the trouble of being enlightened. That’s why I make you alert. Don’t be in a hurry; otherwise you will blame me. I don’t want to take the blame. Nobody can say to me, “I am grateful to you that you helped me to become enlightened.” I help you to learn and love and live as totally as possible. Out of this, enlightenment is bound to happen some day – but there is no hurry for it. It is your birthright, so you cannot avoid it long enough. Sooner or later – and most probably sooner than later – it is going to happen.
But I am telling you, I don’t want to take any credit for it because then you will see that this whole life is utterly futile, meaningless, no action is of any worth – and then you will search.
That’s why I keep myself locked in my room. I don’t want people rushing to me saying, “Now it is your fault. You talked about enlightenment and I have become enlightened. Now what do you suppose I should do?”