You say, “I dress myself in a Nehru shirt and strange cotton pants.” That is the only barrier it seems. Somebody has to steal your cotton pants and Nehru shirt; only then will you learn the lesson that this world is not worth living. Then you will think that except enlightenment nothing else is left.
Because enlightenment need not to be purchased, and you cannot get it on rent. It needs no money. It does not matter where you live, in a bamboo hut or in a marble palace. It does not matter whether you are a well-dressed man or just looking a beggar, Nehru shirt and cotton pants. Only these two things have remained. Either somebody will help and take them away…mostly, beware of women.
But it seems you don’t want me to take your question seriously.
You say, “Very rarely…” Three days before you have written something else: “Very rarely do I allow a woman to come close anymore.”
Have you remembered from your childhood Aesop’s fable?
A fox is trying to catch ripe grapes, hanging above his head – but his reach is not high enough; he jumps again and again and falls back. Just a few inches above are such juicy grapes…he looks all around to see: “Is there anybody looking?” Seeing that nobody is looking he tries one time more, but again falls back. And at that moment, from a small bush, a rabbit asks him, “Uncle, what is the matter?” Now with great anger he says, “What is the matter? The grapes are not ripe yet.”
You say, “I do not allow a woman to come close anymore.” In your situation, with a rented bike, living in a bamboo hut, cotton pants…I don’t think any woman will even try to pass through that side. But you are enjoying the feeling that “I don’t allow.” As if you can prevent any woman! You are waiting eagerly, sitting by the side of your phone: “If some ripe grape comes by itself, without bothering whether in my bag there is money or not…”
But women are very intuitive. They may not have great intellects, but as far as intuition is concerned they can see the man and count the notes, how much is in his pocket. I don’t think any woman will come by herself close to you. You don’t be worried about it.
As far as your question, “Am I on the right track to enlightenment?” In fact, there is no other way. You have to be enlightened, all other ways are closed. That phone is useless, the bike has to be given back…and I suspect whether those pants are yours.
You just renounce the world. Now there is nothing except enlightenment left for you. There is no need to ask whether you are on the right track – you are absolutely on the right track, from the very beginning: losing the business, the great car, the nice apartment, beautiful women, great clothes…This world has come to an end. Now take the jump and declare your enlightenment. Even if there is nobody, take up the phone – although it is disconnected – and declare that “I am enlightened.” It does not matter whether anybody listens or not.