In India, people sit to milk the cows. Gau dohan means milking the cow. Now that is a very strange posture. Mahavira had no cow, so either he was stealing the milk from somebody else cow – which does not seem right for a great master….
And I asked the Jainas, “This question has been bothering me very much, What was he doing?” Most probably he was pissing, because in India that is the way people piss all around the country. The whole of India is a big toilet. People defecate, people piss, but the posture is the same – gau dohan.
I said, “I cannot think that he was stealing milk from somebody’s cow. Then there are only two other possibilities: either he was pissing or defecating. And if you have any other suggestion, I am ready to accept it.”
It can happen in any moment. Perhaps his bladder was too full, and he had been repressing it – perhaps he was passing through a village – and when he urinated there was great relaxation, and he became enlightened.
You can give it a try. Go on and on repressing till you know: now it is going to happen! And then you will know real relaxation – all worries disappeared, all tension gone…. And it is possible. If it has happened to Mahavira, why can’t it happen to you?
Enlightenment has happened in all conditions, all situations, strange…but one thing, laughter, is certain. Jainas are naturally angry that I said Mahavira must have laughed.
The whole thing is worth laughing a great laughter: he was meditating, and he was fasting, and he was reading the scriptures, and doing all kinds of things for forty years – and then when he was pissing, enlightenment happened! No scripture prescribes it. But you can expect anything from me: I prescribe it.
Don’t be worried, I will not allow anybody to be dependent on me.
And a person who is rejoicing, dancing, singing, automatically becomes independent. There is no need for him to make an effort to become independent because soon he finds that the master was only providing excuses. Of course, for that he remains grateful because without those excuses perhaps he would never have known what he had been carrying within himself.
My sannyasins will never be dependent on me, but gratefulness is not dependence. In fact, gratefulness is part of your independence. The master did all kinds of things, said all kinds of things, just to push you into a corner where you have to face yourself.
It is because of this I don’t consider Moses, or Jesus, or Mohammed to be enlightened. None of them knew what laughter is.
Why did Jesus choose Judea to be born in? Britain was the right place. Long faces, carrying the whole burden of the world – the white man’s burden.
Why did Jesus have more followers in the world than anybody else? Because somehow he fits with your misery, your suffering. You have a certain synchronicity with Jesus. He fits with you because you are also carrying a cross on your shoulder. Your life is nothing but a cross.