I am deeply grateful to existence that I can be here beside you and that you are available for me.
I believe you are my only authentic mirror. All the other mirrors around me seem to reflect my masks and the roles I’m playing. How can I become more sensitive towards myself?
How can I say “yes” to what I am, and “no” to what I am not?
It is one of the great problems for the seeker to be caught in duality. And the duality comes in such a way that you may not recognize it at all. It seems so right, it seems that it is going to help you in your growth, but no duality can help you grow. All duality has to be left behind: neither “yes” nor “no,” neither you nor me, neither your false self nor your idea of your authentic self. Both have to be left behind.
In essence, the moment you are not divided in any kind of duality you suddenly fall into tune with existence. Existence knows no “yes,” no “no.” It knows no duality. It is absolutely simple. There is no complexity in it.
Now, what you are asking is a complex question. You are asking, “How can I say ‘yes’ to what I am, and ‘no’ to what I am not?” You don’t have to! You simply stop saying anything! You go into a non-saying silence within yourself. Otherwise you will get into such complexities that they will hold you back from going in.
These are all mind questions. In fact, every question is a mind question. Sometimes they are so beautiful that you may think they are coming from beyond the mind. But from beyond the mind no question ever comes. It is unquestioningly in tune with existence.
I will read your question. You say, “I am deeply grateful to existence that I can be here beside you and that you are available for me.” Do you see the duality? It is very subtle. First, you are making a distinction between yourself and existence by being grateful to existence, as if you are apart.
Do you think my hand can be grateful to me? Do you think my eyes can be grateful to me? Do you think I have to be grateful to my heart? I am one whole! In fact, to feel one with existence is the only gratitude, but that will not be expressed into words. It will overwhelm you. You may dance with joy that you have come, but you will not say anything.
You are saying, “I am deeply grateful to existence…” That is where you are making your first duality. If you are really grateful to existence you will disappear. There will not be anyone to say “Thank you” to existence. And that is true thankfulness.