But I am puzzled about one thing: why didn’t they commit suicide? They talked about suicide, that suicide seems to be the only exit out of this mess, this madness, but none of them committed suicide. Somewhere deep down, they were still hoping that perhaps they were wrong. Perhaps the messiah is going to come, the misery has reached to its Everest peak, just a little more – a little more patience, a little more waiting, and God is going to save them. All this misery perhaps is only a test of your faith.
That’s what religions have been telling you down the centuries – that misery, suffering, poverty, is just a test of your faith. God is watching you round the clock. Perhaps, deep in the unconscious of the existentialists the same conditioning still prevails. So on the conscious level they go on saying that this is worthless, this life is accidental, that it has no meaning, that all that it gives is anguish, despair, death, and the only way out is suicide. But none of them committed suicide, they all lived long lives. It is just a game with words.
I want you to remember that I am the only existentialist ever!
I have tasted from the cup of existence. There is no meaning. There is no meaninglessness either. There is no hope. There is no hopelessness either.
These things are absolutely irrelevant. If you enter into existence…And the miracle is you cannot enter existence through the mind. Mind consists only of past and future – both are non-existential.
If you want to enter existence, you will have to shut up your mind completely. And in that small gap – when there are no past memories surrounding your consciousness, and no future imaginations or hopes present – in that small moment of pure silence you meet existence for the first time. And immediately all questions disappear. You are so abundantly fulfilled, so content, so whole, that who bothers about meanings?
Have you watched a simple thing? When you are sick, then you ask, “Why am I sick? What is the cause of it?” You go to the doctor to find out the cause so that some medicine can be given to you. But when you are healthy, have you ever asked, “Why am I healthy?” Have you become worried that “I am healthy”? Have you gone to the doctor to say, “Please tell me the cause of my health?” No, when you are healthy and feeling a great well-being, you don’t ask such questions. Health is natural; disease is a disturbance.
To be in tune with existence is the most healthy experience. There is nothing more than that, but it is so much you cannot exhaust it.
My existentialism simply means meditativeness. And Jean-Paul Sartre, Jaspers, Marcel, Kierkegaard, Heidegger – their existentialism is simply mumbo jumbo. They don’t know what it is to be meditative.
The existentialism in Europe is an outcome of Christianity, Judaism. If you search for its roots, from where it has come with so much despair, you will find Christian and Judaic traditions behind it; it is a by-product. Because for centuries the Jewish religion…and the Christian religion is just a by-product of Judaism, because Jesus was born as a Jew, lived as a Jew, died as a Jew. He never heard that he was a Christian.