The first question:
Have I come to the wrong place? I just want to be ordinary and happy. I want a woman to love, and to love me; friends to spend time with and enjoy. I don’t want enlightenment. Have I come to the wrong place?
Centuries of wrong upbringing have completely confused your mind about enlightenment. The very word seems to be unearthly, other-worldly; the very word seems to be something which is after death or for those who are already dead. This is absolutely wrong.
If you want to be happy there is no other way than enlightenment. If you want to be ordinary nobody has ever been ordinary without enlightenment. If you want to love and be loved it is impossible without enlightenment. So you will have to understand my concept of enlightenment. It is just to be ordinary, healthy, aware, whole, total.
Every mind is seeking some extraordinariness. That is what the ego is: always trying to be somebody in particular, always afraid of being nobody, always afraid of emptiness, always trying to fill the inner void by everything and anything. Every human being is seeking extraordinariness – and that creates misery. It is not possible. Nobodiness is your very nature, nonbeing is the very stuff you are made of. Howsoever you try you will never succeed; even Alexanders fail. You cannot be somebody because that is not possible in the nature of things. You can only be nobody.
But there is nothing wrong in being nobody; in fact, the moment you accept your nobodiness, immediately bliss starts flowing from you in all directions – because misery disappears. Misery is the shadow of the ego, the shadow of the ambitious mind. Misery means you are doing something impossible and because you are failing in it you are miserable. You are doing something unnatural, trying to do it and failing, so you feel frustrated, miserable. Hell is nothing but the end result of an impossible, unnatural effort. Heaven is nothing but to be natural.
You are nobody. You are born as a nobodiness with no name, no form. You will die as a nobody. Name and form are just on the surface; deep down you are just a vast space. And it is beautiful, because if you are somebody you will be limited. It is good that God doesn’t allow anybody to be somebody; if you are somebody you will be finite, limited, you will be an imprisoned being. No, God doesn’t allow that. He gives you the freedom of nobodiness – infinite, nonending. But you are not ready.