In my meditation camps I used to have a special meditation. The meditation was that for one hour everybody was to sit relaxed and say whatsoever came to his mind – just to become a spokesman of his own mind, just a loudspeaker – and to do whatever he felt like doing, no inhibition, for one hour. And it was such a joy, and people were doing such great things! Such good people…you would have never imagined. One man… I would never have thought that he would do this, he was continuously phoning, just sitting in front of me. And he was a man of the age of near-about sixty, a rich man, continuously phoning: “Hello, hello!” Later on I discovered that that’s what he did; his whole business was the stock market. And he used to sit just in front of me, so once in a while he would look at me and smile because he would see that what he was doing was not right, what he was talking was nonsense. But what to do? – this was the meditation one had to do!
Jayantibhai is sitting here. One of his friends – they are old friends, they are still friends, and very deeply related – simply stood up and started pushing Jayantibhai’s car down the hill. It was the car in which I used to come to the camp, and he was going to push it down the hill – it would be finished! And he was Jayantibhai’s great friend. I had to tell a few people, “Stop your meditation. Just catch hold of that man; otherwise that car is finished. And he knows it is his friend’s car, and he knows that I will need it, that I have to go…”
Somehow he was prised away from the car, but he was so angry that in his anger he climbed up the tree that was just in the middle where all the meditators were sitting, and he started throwing his clothes from there, he became naked. He is such a serious, silent person – you cannot imagine that he can do such things. And it was such a difficulty to bring him down: “The meditation is finished, you come down,” but he wouldn’t listen, it was too difficult for him to come out of the meditation.
These things go on in the mind, but you don’t do them. Finally I had to stop that meditation, because it was dangerous. It was very beautiful to throw out your garbage, it was very cleansing, but it was dangerous – people may start hitting each other. It happened in one place. People were meditating, and one sardarji started hitting…not that anybody was his enemy or anything. He made such long jumps to hit people that the whole of the grounds were empty; all the meditators were standing around the edge of the grounds, and the sardarji was alone inside.
I said, “Sardarji, now sit down. Everybody has gone.”
He said, “What came over me, because I am not a violent man?” And the people of his town also reported, “He is a very good man. What came to his mind?”
I said, “It must have been coming to his mind every day; it is just that the chance was not there. Today he got a chance. He alone finished all the meditators!” And there were at least five hundred people.
I asked him later on, “Did you not realize what you were doing?”
He said, “I realized that what I was doing was not right, and that these people have done no harm to me. Most of them are unknown to me. But from my very childhood I have had dreams of beating people, cutting their heads off. Even in the day, when I close my eyes I have always had this: that I alone am enough for hundreds of people. You have seen it yourself – five hundred people, great meditators, all forgot their meditation.”
I said, “And do you think you are sane?”
He said, “That’s what I have been asking after your meditation. This thing is in my mind…any day, something goes wrong, goes beyond my control and I will be insane. Insanity is there, it is just repressed.”